Dear MISSter Simms,
I’ve been living with my boyfriend for a while, and every now and then he tells me stories about what him and his friends would do back in college. They’re all still close to each other, but most of them live out of town. So I told him to get them together at our place so I could finally meet all of these people I had heard so much about. I put a lot of thought into what food to cook, what to wear, how to get the place looking spotless. Finally the day comes when they’re all supposed to come over, and what happens? They spend the night talking about how great my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend was, how much of a stud he was in college, and tell some really lewd stories that I wish I could forget. And ever since they left, they’ve been telling my boyfriend that he needs to dump me and that I’m stuck up. They’ve even been leaving nasty messages on my Facebook timeline. What did I do wrong and why isn’t my boyfriend saying anything about it?
You didn’t do anything wrong. His friends are just dirtbags. And your boyfriend isn’t doing anything because he too may be a dirtbag. The good news is you can have your revenge! And possibly win over some dirtbags in the process if that’s what you’re after. You just have to fight dirtbagery with…more dirtbagery! It’s simple, really. Guys like that respect a girl who can take that kind of punishment and then dish it right back without blinking an eye. You need to dig up as much dirt on them as possible, get them back over, and give it to them hard. Don’t forget to talk as much smack about them as possible. I know it sounds batpoop insane, but you’ll gain major brownie points and they won’t try to pull that crap on you again.
Need relationship advice? Send your questions to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com and you might be featured on the next installment of Ask MISSter Simms.
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