The other day I was walking down the street and saw this couple kissing while leaning on a car. The kissing lead to groping and a bit more – all on the street in broad daylight. As I approached the car I noticed they were leaning against the window and there was an elderly man sitting right next to the window! He looked a little out of it and bewildered and I couldn’t help thinking, “Get a room!�
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My mom had lots of little sayings that she used to throw my way when I was growing up - one of the ones that comes to mind repeatedly is: “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” This phrase is hundreds of years old and in reading the news lately, it seems there are some girls whose moms never taught them this very basic lesson. There were 2 events in particular that made me think of this: First, was another “diva moment’ where Naomi Campbell caused a ruckus and then proceeded to spit on people. The second, and more disturbing, was a group of teenage girls in Florida who ganged up on an innocent “friend” and beat the crap out of her so they could put the video up on youtube.

For a woman who is “always a lady”, this lesson is one of the most important. “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” simply means: “You can win people to your side more easily by gentle persuasion and flattery than by hostile confrontation.” Bartleby. Or, even more simply put: BE NICE! You’d be amazed how well this works. It’s all about keeping your cool and relying on your womanly charm. No, you don’t have to “show some leg” or “bat your eyelashes” - it’s all about staying calm in the face of adversity. A lady always maintains the higher moral ground. Just because someone is acting like an ass to you, you don’t need to reciprocate and act like an ass yourself. Trust me, it takes all manner of self control to do this, but I assure you, you will feel 100% better knowing that you didn’t stoop to someone else’s pathetic level. Here are some easy places to start . . .

1. Don’t spit on people (Naomi, Pumpkin, - are you listening??)

2. Don’t beat the crap out of people to achieve your “15 minutes of fame” (So unbecoming of a lady - a lady does not inflict bodily harm and only does so to defend herself or her friends/family)

3. When you’re calling those customer service lines, be patient and polite. You know you are going to sit on hold for 10 minutes. Accept it, you’ll be in a better mood when the rep gets on the phone. The rep is there to help you. They will be more likely to help you if you are nice to them. If they are not helping don’t yell at them, just ask to speak to their manager.

4. The most basic, and unfortunately, the most forgotten: Be polite and say “please” and “thank you”

A lady always knows when to turn on the charm. . . you’d be surprised, but sometimes the littlest things help you get what you want.

Whether you know it or not, everyone has their own code of conduct they live by. Mine? Always A Lady. Whatever comes my way, no matter how difficult or frustrating, I try to handle it like a lady - with class and that feminine je ne sais quoi. When I’m out and about, I see lots of conduct unbecoming a Lady so I thought I’d start a column on the little things that make the Ladies stand apart from the girls.

Image & Quote: Mlle. Gabrielle Chanel

Lesson 1: Leave Something To The Imagination

I was at In-N-Out this past weekend and in line ahead of me was a group of 12 girls, all in tiny, tiny dresses with their boobs hanging out and their dresses barely long enough to cover their tushes. The first thing that went through my head was “Too much information!” Not only that, most of them wore their tiny dresses with bare legs and stilettos, leaving me to ask . . . “Why do girls dress like strippers????”

Somehow, somewhere, sexy became equated with showing everything. Ladies know that sexy means leaving a little something to the imagination. Don’t get me wrong, a tiny dress has it’s time and place. It’s how you mix it up that makes the difference.

First, pick a spot. What are you revealing? Women are beautiful beings and have so many erogenous zones. There’s your back, shoulders, decolletage, legs, derriere. Pick one spot to play up and feature. Just 1! When you focus on one feature it automatically is highlighted and instantly adds drama to that area. It’s like cosmetics - experts always say to play up one feature. Same rules apply to sexy clothing.

To the ladies I saw at In-N-Out, I would have recommended the following:

1. If you’re going super-short and want to wear femme fatale stilettos then please wear tights or leggings. There are tons of options available these days and they can add a nice color accent or texture to your ensemble. If you want to go bare, that’s cool, but I would probably opt for a flat shoe.

2. It was the dead of winter and these ladies did not have an outer layer in sight. I think it’s so crazy when I go out at night and see girls in tiny outfits when it’s freezing outside. What are you thinking? It’s cold! You look like an idiot. Please, dress for the weather or you just end up looking silly.

3. Don’t wear the same outfit as your friend. I see this happen a lot. Groups of friends end up dressing similarly. If you know 10 of your friends are wearing a little black dress then wear something different or make it exceptional.

Until next time ladies, stay classy.