One of my favorite things is hosting dinner parties – it’s one of the signs that you are officially an adult.  I’ve definitely come a long way in my dinner party skills.  When I first started, I’d start cooking when people got there, dinner would last forever, I was in the kitchen the whole night and my guests would leave in a food coma.  Now, my guests still leave with a food coma but I’ve become way more efficient with my prep and my time and I get to enjoy the company of my guests.  Here are a few tips to consider when hosting a dinner party…

The Invitation

• The formality and occasion for the dinner party will dictate the type of invitation.  Casual dinner among friends? A phone call or email is ok?  A formal gathering?  Something in writing would be nice.  This is your party and you set the tone of the dinner from the start with the way the invite is sent.
• Be clear about who is invited – is this an adults only event? Or are the kids invited?  Make sure it’s clear on the invite.  If kids are allowed the words “and family” are included, ie, “Joe & Jenn and family”.  If the invite just says “Joe and Jenn” then the kids are probably not invited.
• When you decide who you are inviting make sure you have a good mix of people.  Is it a group of close friends? Are you trying to connect people together? Don’t invite arch enemies unless you want a food fight!

The Guests

• Seating is important!  As the host you should try to steer guests to their seats to promote maximum conversation and enjoyment.  If you really want to be fancy you can make place cards but just letting people know verbally where to sit is also fine.
• As the hostess, it’s your responsibility to make sure everyone’s glass is full,  keep the conversation going and make sure no one is left out.

The Meal

• When people RSVP (and make sure if you are invited you RSVP!) ask your guests if they have any food allergies or food restrictions.  The last thing you want to do is serve prawns when one of your guests has a shellfish allergy or serve pork to someone who keeps halal or kosher.
• It’s always nice to cook the meal yourself or have a potluck but if cooking isn’t your thing that doesn’t mean you can’t have a dinner party.  You can have it catered, order in, or purchase prepared food.  Ultimately, the source of the food doesn’t matter – it’s the company enjoying a meal together.
• More expensive does not always equal better.  You could put together a fabulous meal on a budget.  Pasta is always a great choice – I haven’t met anyone that doesn’t like pasta, it’s inexpensive and it goes a long way.
• Whether you cook or you buy – always make at least 1-2 servings extra.  You don’t want to run out of food!  Some people have big appetites.
• Make sure you time the meal correctly.  Usually guests come and you offer drinks and appetizers.  Dinner should soon follow and then dessert/coffee.  Dessert time is when you can really draw it out if your guests are inclined to hang out longer.  But give guests the option.  You don’t want to have dinner last five hours if your guests are expecting something along the lines of 2-3 hours.
• If you are cooking the food, do everything that you can in advance.  Try to choose recipes that you can do most of the preparation in advance and just add finishing touches or reheating before serving.

These tips should help you host a great dinner party.  It’s a bit of work, but with planning and preparation, it should go smoothly.  Just don’t forget to enjoy yourself too!

Project: M.I.S.S x Mama “Always A Lady” adidas Fina
Role: Co-designer
Notes: The “Always A Lady” adidas Fina was inspired by all the elements of dressing like a lady: Cuban heel fully fashioned stockings, handkerchief, crocodile shoes and bag and lace.

R-S-V-P. We’ve all heard it, in fact, we’ve probably all done it.  We see it at the bottom of our invitations and we know what to do – but what does it really mean?  The acronym actually stands for répondez s’il vous plaît, and means “reply please” or “please respond” in French.

If you receive an invitation that asks you to kindly répondez s’il vous plaît - then you should always do so.  There is usually a contact listed for the R.S.V.P. and you let your host know if you will be attending by contacting them via the method listed on the invite.

It may seem obvious, but you would be surprised how many people don’t follow common courtesy and R.S.V.P.  First off, the host needs to know how many people they are accommodating – if you don’t R.S.V.P – then they can’t get an accurate count.  If you force the host to get in touch with you to confirm, you’re adding to their list of things they need to do.  If you don’t R.S.V.P. and show up anyway – well that’s just plain rude.

It seems like a basic thing to do but some people take it for granted.  Consider your host – they are putting an event to together and are coordinating lots of people.  All you have to do is show up, have fun and R.S.V.P. s’il vous plaît. It’s the first step in being a gracious guest.

Always A Lady: How To Sit Like A Lady

It’s a scene I see almost every night on late night television: A Hollywood starlet is getting interviewed and she’s wearing the mini-dress du jour. She sits on the coach, crosses her legs at the knees, not knowing that the cameras are angled so that she’s probably revealing a bit more than she intends to. Sitting seems like something really basic – we spend a good deal of the day sitting – but it’s astonishing how few women know how to sit like a lady.

My mother taught me how to sit like a lady and the lessons started pretty early. One of my memories from school is sitting on stage for an award ceremony. My mother was in the audience and I looked at her and smiled. She smiled back and took her two fingers and crossed them (the way my legs were crossed at the knee) and uncrossed them. I don’t know how I understood this primitive form of sign language, but I knew immediately that she meant for me to uncross my legs at the knee.

You’re probably wondering, “How do you sit like a lady? Can I never cross my legs at the knee?” The answer is – it all depends on the length of your skirt. If you’re wearing a knee length skirt/dress or longer, then you can safely cross your legs at the knee. If you’re wearing anything shorter, crossing your legs at the knee may mean you’re revealing a bit more than you intend to. Instead, cross your legs at the ankle.

How do you cross your legs at the ankle? Easy.

1. Sit down with your legs straight in front of you.
2. Angle your knees to either side, left or right, whatever your preference.
3. Criss-cross your ankles.

And the most important part? Regardless of whether you’re crossing your legs at the knee or the ankle, posture is the icing on the cake that will transform you from one of those girls, to a lady.

Always A Lady: The model is illustrating step 2. Next, cross your legs at the ankles.

The office romance* – it’s a scene ingrained in our cultural psyche. And, how could it not be? People in the U.S. spend more time working than anywhere else in the industrialized world. Unlike most European countries with their siestas and month-long summer vacations, Americans spend a most of their time at work. So, it’s only natural that you would form connections with the people you spend the most time with, right? Wrong.  No matter how logical or convenient an office romance seems, 99% of the time it’s a very bad idea.

Whenever I think of “office romance” scenes from the 1950s-1960s pop into my head with married business men having affairs with their secretaries. Times have changed, and now women are the executives and have much, much more to lose. Whenever you mix business with pleasure, the result is usually disaster. So, why is this so wrong?

The situation in the workplace has gotten so sticky that we now have sexual harassment laws in place to regulate behavior. What you think is innocent flirting, can actually get you into lots of trouble, especially when you are not on the same managerial level. If one person is more senior, then you’re getting into murky territory and you’re entering quid pro quo territory, i.e, go out with me, and I’ll give you a promotion. Most companies these days have resources and meetings explaining the sexual harassment policies, and many others prohibit them entirely. If you do decide to fling all logic aside, at least proceed with caution and stay within legal bounds.

Legalities aside, there are subtle ways that an office fling can hurt your career. For one, if word gets out (it always does), you will instantly lose credibility. Unfortunately this is directed more toward the ladies. One fling and you will be labeled the “office tramp” – not so with your male counterpart. Sorry ladies, I didn’t make the rules. I don’t like them and don’t think they are fair but that’s how you will be perceived. Ignoring that will not will it out of existence.

All of the hard work that you put into advancing your career has the potential of slipping away with one office fling. You can lose credibility, and your achievements won’t look merit-based but reward-based – regardless of whether that’s true or not.

If you are the more senior person in the relationship then people will suspect that you can’t stay impartial and are playing favorites. If you’re a manager you need to have your team’s respect and they can’t feel that you favor one person because of personal relationships. Even if you don’t favor one person, there are definitely people who look for excuses to cause trouble and will perceive it that way.

Like any rule, there are exceptions, and you always hear about that couple at work that fell madly in love, got married and lived happily ever after. That does happen – rarely. It’s understandable. If you work in the same place, chances are you have some similar interests and goals. My advice? Take it very slow and be very discreet. If romance is prohibited in the workplace, and the relationship is that serious, one of you may consider finding another job.

The mind never rule affairs of the heart, if it did, it would be affairs of the mind (and that doesn’t sound like any fun). You can’t control who you take an interest in. My main advice is to play it smart and proceed with caution. Before you act on any impulses, think about whether your serious or if it’s a fling. Think about whether it’s worth the risk to the career you’ve worked long and hard at building. Save the flings for outside the office and “Don’t get you honey where you make your money.”

* I use the term “office romance” loosely and can be interpreted as workplace romance