The end of the year is upon us and we’ll all soon be counting down the end of 2008 and the beginning of 2009. That means, for many of us, we’ll be popping open the bubbly to celebrate the occasion. I’ve found that for a lot of people, New Year’s Eve has become less about reflecting upon the past year and what’s to come in the new year and all about getting as drunk as humanly possible. Getting ridiculously drunk is not only unladylike, it can be rude, annoying and unsightly.

A lady partakes in the festivities but knows when to stop. She knows when she’s reached her limit and when to say “no.” I’m not saying you shouldn’t drink - in fact it’s ok to get a bit tipsy. You just don’t want to get to the point where you are screaming, crying or vomiting or a combination of all three - that’s never a good look. A lady knows how much booze she can handle and she handles it with class. Read the rest of the story for some advice on handling your liquor.

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The holidays are a lovely time to share with friends and family.  The food, the parties and the holiday cheer are my favorite parts of the season.  Too often, the true meaning of the holidays is overshadowed by consumerism and thoughts of finding the perfect gift.  It’s these times, that we should be thankful for what we have and give to those in need.

A lady doesn’t just think of herself and her close circle of friends.  She also thinks of all the people who are cold, hungry or lonely during the holiday season.  If it’s within her means, a lady should donate something to a charitable organization.  It doesn’t have to be a lot - it could be $10, canned food, old clothing.  Giving is a kind gesture that leaves you with a feeling that is irreplaceable.  We shouldn’t lose sight of the true meaning of the holidays - celebrating love, life, friends and family.  What a better way to do that than by helping someone have a nice holiday.

Wishing you a lovely holiday season,

xo GDK

As a kid I used to love getting dressed up for Halloween, from Raggedy Anne to Rainbow Bright, I always loved coming up with a costume each year.  Somewhere during college I realized that an alarming number of women used Halloween as an excuse to dress up as a whore (sorry if it sounds harsh but it’s true).  Whether dressed as a “sexy nurse,” “sexy postal worker,” or “sexy fill-in-the-blank,” I noticed that most costumes had an emphasis on lack of clothing, than on portraying a character.  It really saddens me that women feel they need to dress scantily (and often in bad taste) to attract attention.  I assure you, any attention you attract is not the kind worth having.  Halloween is about dressing up in character, not a time for getting naked.  You only end up looking silly and insecure (especially because it’s usually really cold outside!).  Instead, opt for a costume that will show how beautiful, or clever, or funny or creative you are.  All women have T&A, show us something the others don’t have.  In sum, ladies, my message to you this Halloween is please keep it classy.

Everyone has some place they need to be - whether it’s the morning commute to work, or the vacation you’ve been waiting for. Whether your mode of transport is a plane, train or automobile, the rules of travel apply. Maybe it’s the potential for lost baggage, missed connections or just being late for work, but sometimes your fellow travelers can be quite rude and inconsiderate. Here are some pointers to keep in mind when you’re traveling:

Keep The Scents Under Wraps
Never use beauty products with very strong scents in enclosed places like airplanes. No perfume spraying or polishing nails. In fact, if you’re going to wear perfume on an airplane make sure you put it on well in advance. If not, the scent will be too strong and you’ll think you smell great but in fact, you’re giving everyone around you a headache.

Out Before In
This rule applies mainly to buses, trains and elevators. Always let the people exiting get out first before you attempt to enter. When waiting, stand to the side so you’re not blocking anyone’s way.

Read the rest after the jump  . . .

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While I was waiting to get into a show at NY Fashion Week the other week I overheard a young woman say the craziest thing.  No, I wasn’t eavesdropping – we were crammed together like cattle and it’s impossible not to hear what people around you are saying.  She was talking about boys and how she had to email her man’s brother, but “it wasn’t like that.�  She then proceeded to say:

“I’ll f!#k his best friends, but not his brother.�

I am not making this up. She said it like she was saying something innocuous like “I have to stop by the grocery store on the way home.�  Trust, it took every ounce of self -control not to turn around and glare at this woman.  It’s moments like these that inspire Always A Lady columns.

If you’re anything remotely close to being a lady this woman is appalling and you’re probably pretty shocked.  If her comment doesn’t phase you, then here’s a few things for you to consider.  Let’s start with The Golden Rule:  Treat others the way you want to be treated.  Would you want your man playing around with your friends? Didn’t thinks so.  Don’t do that to him.  Whether it’s with his friends, brother or stranger, it’s never a good idea to cheat on someone.  There’s really no reason for it.  No one’s forcing you to be in a relationship.  If you want to be with other people, get out of your relationship and do what you want.  But sneaking around on someone you supposedly care about is just dumb and selfish.  Relationships are built on trust and loyalty, and without those, you have nothing.  If you have an open relationship, and you’re both on the same page then do your thing, but if you’re in a monogamous relationship, respect your partner.

Of course every rule has its exceptions.  I’m not saying you should cheat.  But once your relationship is over, and you find that you are better suited to his friend or brother (please not both), and it’s based on more than pure lust, and no one’s feelings will get hurt, then I think it would be safe to follow your heart.

Fashion week is hectic, competitive and stressful, and like all things hectic, competitive and stressful, it brings out the worst in people. I’ve been on both sides of the fence, as designer and as a writer covering designers and I understand the pressures associated with both responsibilities. I’m not saying that I’m immune to them and I’ve definitely had my moments. But, I have noticed and taken steps to be a better person, and in the end, the people around you are happier, and you end up happier. So, take a deep breath, think “serenity now� and stop being a menace to society.

First things first, there are nice ways and mean ways to say things. Both require the same effort. Be nice.

Second, if you have so much to do that you feel overwhelmed, make a list and cross things off as you do them. I know it sounds elementary but you’d be surprised how few people actually use a list to keep track of the many things they need to do.

Third, your time is not worth more than those around you. If you’re meeting with someone, focus on the task at hand, and when you’re done, cross it off of your handy list. I’ve had meetings with people where they stop to call other people on unrelated matters, check email and they end up wasting my time. That’s inconsiderate and rude. If you have a list, and stick to it, you won’t waste your time, and the time of the people you’re meeting with.

Fourth, if you hear bad news or info that’s a bit stressful, take a deep breath before you do anything. Sometimes when you just react without thinking, you don’t take the action that’s best for you and the situation. Always think things through and make sure that there’s a reason (other than ego) for doing things.

Fifth, sometimes people say and do things that are just plain mean and/or stupid. Instead of following your initial instinct of maybe doing something or saying something a bit unladylike, determine whether the action or statement is even worthy of a response. Sometimes, stupid statements and actions don’t warrant a reaction and I try to keep the higher ground by letting things just roll off of me.

My last point is in regard to your “competition.”  In the Art of War, Sun Tzu said something to the effect of “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”  Don’t shy away from the competition or get into the sneaky, manipulative head games they play.  They need info? Give it to them.  Be confident that you are better and that what you do with the same info will far exceed what they can do.  It’s annoying with people constantly on your tail but the trick is to stay ahead of the pack.  The fashion industry doesn’t have to live up to the stereotype of being shallow and bitchy.  You are in full control of how you present yourself.

My very first Always A Lady post had to do with leaving something to the imagination.  It appears, I’m not the only one to subscribe to this belief.  One of my favorite fashion reads, the JC Report, always asks a trend setter what they think is hot.  This week they asked Guillaume Salmon, PR Wiz for Colette, and he goes on about the state of un-dress in Paris.  Check it out!

The other day I was walking down the street and saw this couple kissing while leaning on a car. The kissing lead to groping and a bit more – all on the street in broad daylight. As I approached the car I noticed they were leaning against the window and there was an elderly man sitting right next to the window! He looked a little out of it and bewildered and I couldn’t help thinking, “Get a room!�
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When it comes to all things beauty: cosmetics, hair, perfume - less is more. You know the girls - they try to overcompensate for some things by piling on the makeup, perfume and hair gunk. Ladies! Realize that you’re beautiful just the way you are and you need only enhance your features — not create new ones! Here are some tips to keep you looking and smelling like a lady. Tips after the jump!

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My mom had lots of little sayings that she used to throw my way when I was growing up - one of the ones that comes to mind repeatedly is: “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” This phrase is hundreds of years old and in reading the news lately, it seems there are some girls whose moms never taught them this very basic lesson. There were 2 events in particular that made me think of this: First, was another “diva moment’ where Naomi Campbell caused a ruckus and then proceeded to spit on people. The second, and more disturbing, was a group of teenage girls in Florida who ganged up on an innocent “friend” and beat the crap out of her so they could put the video up on youtube.

For a woman who is “always a lady”, this lesson is one of the most important. “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” simply means: “You can win people to your side more easily by gentle persuasion and flattery than by hostile confrontation.” Bartleby. Or, even more simply put: BE NICE! You’d be amazed how well this works. It’s all about keeping your cool and relying on your womanly charm. No, you don’t have to “show some leg” or “bat your eyelashes” - it’s all about staying calm in the face of adversity. A lady always maintains the higher moral ground. Just because someone is acting like an ass to you, you don’t need to reciprocate and act like an ass yourself. Trust me, it takes all manner of self control to do this, but I assure you, you will feel 100% better knowing that you didn’t stoop to someone else’s pathetic level. Here are some easy places to start . . .

1. Don’t spit on people (Naomi, Pumpkin, - are you listening??)

2. Don’t beat the crap out of people to achieve your “15 minutes of fame” (So unbecoming of a lady - a lady does not inflict bodily harm and only does so to defend herself or her friends/family)

3. When you’re calling those customer service lines, be patient and polite. You know you are going to sit on hold for 10 minutes. Accept it, you’ll be in a better mood when the rep gets on the phone. The rep is there to help you. They will be more likely to help you if you are nice to them. If they are not helping don’t yell at them, just ask to speak to their manager.

4. The most basic, and unfortunately, the most forgotten: Be polite and say “please” and “thank you”

A lady always knows when to turn on the charm. . . you’d be surprised, but sometimes the littlest things help you get what you want.