Sometimes you need a little time for yourself

Dear MISSter Simms,

I am a 21 year-old college student graduating this winter.  I was recently accepted to a prestigious university to pursue my graduate degree, which I’m definitely excited about.  However, I have a boyfriend who I’ve been dating for six years, and he really wants to follow me to graduate school.  My first thought was, “great!”.  My second thought was, “I don’t know…” I love my boyfriend and am happy that he wants to support me, but what I worry about is his lack of drive and ambition.  He dropped out of college and doesn’t really have any plans to go back.  He’s also never lived anywhere other than his parents’ house.  Meanwhile, I’ve been living on my own (more or less) for the past four years.  I’m worried that he’ll find it too difficult to live away from home, although I also think it’ll ultimately be a good opportunity for him to move somewhere new.  I’m also worried that living with him might jeopardize the opportunity that I have .  Will I be able to fully experience things if I also have a boyfriend to worry about?  I don’t want to lose him, but I’m really unsure if he should come along with me or if I should leave him behind.  What do you think?

Grad Girl

Dear GG,

I’m sure you’ve already shed plenty of blood, sweat, and tears during your four years of undergrad.  You think it gets an easier in grad school?  Heeeeeeeeell no.  What you should do is tell your boyfriend to chill for a minute while you spend your first year at grad school alone.  A year without him will allow you to a) focus on your studies b) make a new life for yourself and c) evaluate whether or not this is the guy you really want to be with.  Once your year apart together is over, you’ll know whether or not there’s a place for your boyfriend.  You may find that he pales in comparison to all the future investment bankers, existentialists, and bakery scientists you’re bound to meet in grad school.

Need relationship advice?  Send your questions over to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com.

Paris fashion brand KENZO is known for its colorful prints and cooky patterns. Its Fall/Winter 2013 is no different. Drawing inspiration from the celestial, KENZO creative directors Carol Lim and Humberto Leon have  chosen three prints (flying tigers, lightning and clouds) for its new collection. In what has almost become fashion tradition these heavenly KENZO prints with the translated onto a series of Vans silhouettes: the Slip-On, Authentic and, for the first time, the Chukka. The fifth installment of the KENZO x Vans signature footwear collection is now available at Kenzo stores, Kenzo.com and at select retail partners including Opening Ceremony, Colette, IT, Browns, Antonia and Holt Renfrew.

Image Layout: C_Rocka

Looking for a boo to spend the fall and winter with? Let’s Date could help make that happen.

The end of summer is officially upon us.  Now it’s cuffing season, that time of the year when the temperatures drop and you need someone to keep you warm.  What’s a single lady to do?  Roll up to the club with your freakum dress on? Dress up like Princess Leia in Return of the Jedi and hit up your local comic  book convention?  Put on your Easter whites and go to church?  Sure, you could do any of the above and land yourself a fine catch, but there’s an easier way to meet guys these days: Let’s Date, an iPhone app that hopes to match you with your future boo.

Let’s Date pulls relevant information from your Facebook profile (including your photo) and asks you some important questions like what’s your diet and sexual preferences (kinky).  After that, the service creates a dating card (read profile) and you’re free to go on the hunt for a potential love connection.  See someone repulsive, and you can tap “No Thanks” to keep things moving.  Or you can use your finger to eliminate those who wouldn’t make a good match by swiping a line across parts of their profile that make your stomach churn (who lights their own farts on fire?).  Keep crossing out qualities and photos you despise, and Let’s Date will present you with dating cards that better match what you’re looking for.

What happens when you finally find that dating card you’ve been looking for, anyway?  You tap “Let’s Date”, and the lucky guy in question gets a notification that someone picked him.  Your dating card will appear toward the front of his stack, and if he also likes what he sees he can hit “Let’s Date” and the two of you can start messaging each other.  The app will also suggest a public place for you to meet for your first date and nudge him to ask you out.  Assuming you go out with him, when your date’s over the app will ask you a series of questions to see how the date went and whether the guy is a good fit for other ladies should the two of you be incompatible.

Let’s Date is available now free from the iTunes App Store.  Sorry Android users.  You’ll have to continue looking for dates the hard way.

For those times when you just want to take a high quality selfie

Canon’s updating their Powershot line of digital cameras, starting with the flagship G model (preferred by gangstas everywhere).  The new Canon Powershot G16 builds upon its predecessor by utilizing some of Canon’s most innovative technologies.  It features a 28-140mm wide-angle lens with an aperture range perfect for shooting in low-light conditions and  it’s equipped with Canon’s HS system, which combines a DIGIC 6 image processor and a 12.1 megapixel High-Sensitivity CMOS image sensor, allowing for enhanced low-light image quality.  The HS system also means that the G16 can now capture 1080p Full HD video at 60 frames per second.  There are a few new shooting modes, like “Star Nightscape”, “Star Trails”, and “Star Time Lapse Movie” that all allow you to better capture images of the night sky.  And to top it all off, the G16 is the first Powershot in the G-series to come equipped with built in Wi-Fi.  That means you can easily share your photos and videos on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and Flickr without having to first download everything to your computer.

The PowerShot G16 is scheduled to drop in October for $549.99.

Don’t let your health keep you from finding love

Dear MISSter Simms,

A few years ago I suffered a blood clot in my lung.  It happened because I have multiple genetic blood clotting disorders that require me to be on blood thinners for the rest of my life.  You’re probably wondering what’s so bad about blood thinners.  Let me tell you it makes my life kind of hellish.  I can’t get on birth control because it promotes blood clotting.  I can’t have children because all my disorders combined would make me miscarriage.  On top of all that, I now have a super heavy period that lasts longer than usual.  When I first found out about all of this, it crushed me.  Since then I’ve been learning to live with it.

Clearly this makes having relationships difficult.  A guy I really liked asked me out recently.  He wants a family, like I do.  It’s nice to be out with someone who wants the same things I do.  We’ve been on a few dates, and at some point I know I’m going to have to tell him about my condition.  He hasn’t seen all the pills I take yet, and he hasn’t commented on my medic alert bracelet.  I’ve done my best to keep things quiet.  It’s kind of refreshing to be “normal” and not have to think about things.  But, again, I do have to tell him…because it isn’t fair to keep him in the dark, right? 

I’m not sure how to tell him, though.  Should I give him the story about how it changed my life, or just stick to the facts?  I want him to be aware of what I’ve been through, but I don’t want his sympathy.  I want him to know that I want to have a family, that it won’t happen the way that I want it, and to know what he’s getting into with me.  How do I bring this up?  How do I not scare him?  How do I tell him that I more than likely won’t be able to carry children.  How do I give him an out in case he doesn’t want to be with me?

Blue Genes

Dear BG,

First of all, big ups to you for learning to live with something that would probably break down a lot of other people.  That said, having all these disorders is something that still obviously affects you.  I think, moving forward, the best thing you can do for yourself when it comes to this relationship or anyone you may have in the future is to not think so much about your condition and the effect it has on your ability to bear children as a confession you have to make, but more so as just another thing that makes you you.

Here’s the thing.  You can’t live your life hung up on what may or may not scare people away.  Everyone has something about them that may be a deal breaker to someone.  Some men will definitely be deterred by your condition, but, surprise surprise, some people won’t.  Those are the people that you need to give a chance, because they’ll be committed, supportive, and probably able to cope with adversity, but you can’t determine who those people are unless you come out and tell people what’s going on with your health as matter of fact as possible.

You’ve already been on a few dates with him before, and I’m sure you by now you know each other’s favorite food, colors, movies, and cuddling positions.  The next date you go on I’d point to my bracelet and be like, “You never asked me about this.”  Then you can launch into your story, and how you battled back, and how you still want to have a family some day even though it may not be the way you originally wanted to.  If he really cares about you he’ll admire your inner strength and determination.  If not then hey; you can give him an immediately ending him, slowly fading out of his life, or coming to the mutual agreement that things aren’t going to work out.  It happens!  And you can get back to looking for someone who will accept you for who you are.

Need relationship advice?  Send your questions over to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com.