Dear MISSter Simms,
I am a 21 year-old college student graduating this winter. I was recently accepted to a prestigious university to pursue my graduate degree, which I’m definitely excited about. However, I have a boyfriend who I’ve been dating for six years, and he really wants to follow me to graduate school. My first thought was, “great!”. My second thought was, “I don’t know…” I love my boyfriend and am happy that he wants to support me, but what I worry about is his lack of drive and ambition. He dropped out of college and doesn’t really have any plans to go back. He’s also never lived anywhere other than his parents’ house. Meanwhile, I’ve been living on my own (more or less) for the past four years. I’m worried that he’ll find it too difficult to live away from home, although I also think it’ll ultimately be a good opportunity for him to move somewhere new. I’m also worried that living with him might jeopardize the opportunity that I have . Will I be able to fully experience things if I also have a boyfriend to worry about? I don’t want to lose him, but I’m really unsure if he should come along with me or if I should leave him behind. What do you think?
I’m sure you’ve already shed plenty of blood, sweat, and tears during your four years of undergrad. You think it gets an easier in grad school? Heeeeeeeeell no. What you should do is tell your boyfriend to chill for a minute while you spend your first year at grad school alone. A year without him will allow you to a) focus on your studies b) make a new life for yourself and c) evaluate whether or not this is the guy you really want to be with. Once your year apart together is over, you’ll know whether or not there’s a place for your boyfriend. You may find that he pales in comparison to all the future investment bankers, existentialists, and bakery scientists you’re bound to meet in grad school.
Need relationship advice? Send your questions over to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com.