HOLY GOD. This is a photo from a shoot I did with Brides.com (Thanks, Jesse!). I can’t. Oh, jesus, how good does this plate look? This was Slow-roasted Pork Shoulder w/ Bourbon Maple BBQ Sauce, Baby Zucchini & Jersey Corn Succotash, & Chive Hushpuppies. I’m giving you guys this BBQ sauce recipe.

It is my duty as a Southerner to define BBQ and it’s sauces. Every year, my family has a pig roast. When I was younger, we had at least two–one in VA, and one in Connecticut. It was an excuse for the “adults” to come together and get wasted & high while perched on picnic tables and occasionally pull some hog meat off a whole animal atop some burning embers. It’s similar now except the adults have passed the torch to me, my cousins and our friends. It keeps getting bigger every year. We now have a parking lot. We were sponsored by Abita last year. I bet we’ll have go-go dancers this year. Scratch that. We always have dancers–my aunt owns and operates the only Highland dancing studio in Richmond, VA, Thistle & Shamrock. and they always come, sans kilts. There’s usually a piper, too. I’m gonna slip him some sheet music to Lady Gaga.

North Carolina BBQ: Pork Shoulder, slow-roasted, chopped up and mixed w/ a vinegar-based BBQ, sauce-centric. This is how we do in VA. Sauer’s is our sauce, goddammit. My aunt has mailed it to me and my friends bring it with them when they visit. Goddammit. Pictured below.

South Carolina BBQ: Similar to the northerly state except the sauce has mustard in it, too. Sauce-centric.

Kansas BBQ: Beef & Pork, all cuts, grilled/roasted (not slow-roasted) sweet tangy tomato-based BBQ sauce. Meat-centric.

Texas BBQ: Beef, slow-roasted, sweet tangy tomato-based BBQ sauce. Meat-centric.

A lot of BBQ enthusiasts emphasize the smoking stage of the meat. This is very important. It doesn’t have to happen in a separate apparatus, rather if the meat is “slow-roasted”, the low heat and prolonged time, evolve into a smoking process. A good, flavorful rub is also of paramount import. Most avid BBQ aficionados will never give this recipe away. Thus, why I’m giving you my sauce recipe. It’s not really how I prefer my sauce, but the way I like it will burn the hairs off your titties. I want to keep my readers. This is a great tomato-based sauce.

Skim’s Bourbon Maple BBQ Sauce

• 1 medium onion chopped
• 2 cloves garlic crushed
• 2 TBSP corn oil
• 2 TBSP chili powder
• 2 TBSP worcestershire sauce
• 2 TBSP yellow mustard
• 1/3 cup maple syrup
• 1 cup tomato sauce
• 2 shots Bourbon

Cook onion and garlic in oil until tender, add rest of the ingredients and bring to a medium boil, reduce to a simmer and cook uncovered 30 minutes. Use a blender or hand blender if you don’t want the chunks.

Note: Except for the NC Style BBQ, I wanted to just write: WHO CARES? And sorry to my korean brothers & sisters, I don’t consider bulgogi a type of BBQ.

I make a ton of soups at the restaurant I work at (@spoonfednyc). Tons. I think if someone was gonna do a “How Many Soups Do You Make A Year” Contest, I’d win. Big time. (I wouldn’t climb up on stage and get arrested if I wasn’t allowed to compete or anything…) I exhaust myself when I picture all the soups I concoct. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really good at it. However, let’s face it, IT’S HOT OUT. Who wants to eat hot, steamy soup now??? I gave you a soup last time to celebrate the Season O’ Corn, i.e. Summer. But, really, I was saving this one for you. It’s COLD. Brrr. Break out the Cuisinart (or blender). Time for a workout, Handy Kitchen Appliances!

REFRESHMENT IN A BOWL

aka. Zucchini, Cucumber, & Avocado Cold Sopa

• 2 zucchini, large dice
• 2 cucumber, large dice
• 2 jalapeño, diced, no seeds (unless you want it to be spicy)
• 1/2 chopped onion
• 1/4 c each of cilantro, basil, mint, parsley
• 1/4 c of rice wine vinegar (use white wine if you don’t have this)
• juice & zest of 2 limes
• 2 avocado, scooped out with a spoon
• 2 cans of coconut
• s&p
• water

Put all top 6 ingredients in your Cuisinart or food processor. You will probably need to do 2 batches. Purée. Place in a large mixing bowl. Purée lime juice, zest & avocado separately. Pour into the large mixing bowl mixture. Add coconut milk. Mix thoroughly w/ a whisk. Slowly add water and mix. Season with salt & pepper. Depending on if you want your soup thin or thick…add more or less water. Chill for an hour or more. The longer you chill, the more the flavors will come together. Garnish w/ EVOO, crushed tortilla strips, or chives. (This is yogurt in the pic. It’s amazing vegan, though!)

I have brought cold soups to the beach in a thermos. The hours of sun and sand really wear on your cohorts. This makes them love you even more.

p.s. I had a farmer last week tell me that the Watermelon Gazpacho I made was the “Best Gazpacho He’s Ever Had In His Life”. This guy is not especially vociferous. Or social. He’s a farmer. I feel so special! Follow us at @skimkim!

It summer. It’s time for corn!!! A few markets have popped up with fresh local corn and of course, I’m gobbling it up. I make all the soups at my restaurant and it’s like a spiritual thing for me. Here is a really yummy corn recipe that I came up with and I’m telling you, use this seasonal fresh stuff. It will make it so much better!!!

Summer Corn Soup

• 3 cups whole milk
• 3 ears of fresh corn, kernels cut from cobs, cobs broken in half and reserved
• 2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) butter
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 1 large carrot, peeled, thinly sliced
• 1 celery stalk, thinly sliced
• 1 garlic clove, pressed
• 2 cups water
• 2 large fresh thyme sprigs
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 tsp Old Bay
  
• Ground white pepper

The season of sweet, delectable berry goodness is upon us! The markets are overflowing with beautiful little strawberries here in NYC. Yes, they are little because they aren’t hopped up on antibiotics and pesticides and crazy unnatural chemicals. This is my favorite summertime dessert to make both for friends and clients. It’s ridiculously easy and versatile. Make a pie or baby bites like I do. Instead of a pie crust, check out your grocer’s freezer section for tiny phyllo cups. I brought these to a friend’s BBQ and decorated them with the kids. So cute and fun!

I make my own whipped cream. All you have to do is take a pint of heavy cream, a dash of sugar (agave or honey are great, too) and vanilla, throw it in a mixer or beat the hell out of it until it forms a medium peak. Done. These gold balls are edible sugar dragees that I picked up from New York Cake on 22nd between 5th & 6th. A baker’s dream in there…Speaking of dreamy, if you’re in NYC Friday, June 11th, come by Fontana’s for a yummy party of Smash N’ Burn Smore’s and awesome tunage. Me and thatkidprolific in the kitchen/on the tables!

Strawberry Pie Bites

• 1 (9 inch) pie crust, baked or 2-3 boxes of small Phyllo Cups
• 1 quart fresh strawberries, sliced in thirds for pie, sixths if bites
• 1 cup white sugar
• 3 tablespoons cornstarch
• 3/4 cup water
• whipped cream (see directions above)
• piping bag or quart ziploc plastic bag (if you are making the bites and not the pie)

Arrange half of strawberries in baked pastry shell or phyllo cups. Mash remaining berries and combine with sugar in a medium saucepan. Place saucepan over medium heat and bring to a boil, stirring frequently.
In a small bowl, whisk together cornstarch and water. Gradually stir cornstarch mixture into boiling strawberry mixture. Reduce heat and simmer mixture until thickened, about 10 minutes, stirring constantly. Pour mixture over berries in pastry shell or cups. Use the piping bag or ziploc bag with corner cut off to fill the phyllo cups. Chill for several hours before serving. Top with whipped cream & cute decorations as your heart desires.

Oh, here’s a pic of the infamous Smash N’ Burn S’mores which will be at the party on Friday. Delish.

This weekend is all about the barbeques, stoops, beers, and friends. Depending on where you live, your stoop may be your backyard or a park or a beach. Here in Brooklyn, we have our stoops to settle into for the season. Once you have your BBQ itinerary sorted out, the next decision is what you will bring as your offering. Many of us have our cookout favs that we make every year (my sister has been making artichoke dip since middle school) and I’m not saying this bad–I’m saying, let’s try something different! Change is good! Here are a few tips that will always yield a smile-worthy bite. People will look for you to tell you how amazing your pasta salad is/was, if there’s any left…

1) Pasta: Al dente! Not mushy! Use ANY kind you want. I mean, don’t go crazy with lasagne, that’ just not applicable. I love penne & orzo. Israeli cous cous is great, too. I would stay away from long noodles like spaghetti or linguine because the less surface area, the less the flavors will soak in. With the long pasta, your yummy fixin’s tend to fall to the bottom of the bowl and with tons of people diving in, these pastas are hard to manipulate. With the smaller pastas, a big spoon can scoop up the perfect amount to put on their paper plates. Try using rice or soba noodles too for an asian flare. I often whip up a sesame garlic vinaigrette to make an insta-asian pasta salad. Filled pastas are always a crowd favorite. I made the salad pictured above last week– Tortellini, Cucumber, Piquillo Pepper, Fresh Corn, Chopped Parsley, & Chive Vinaigrette. What!

2.) Vinaigrette/Dressing: If you have been following Skimkim Yummies, you have already mastered this! Check it. If not, you should! We are all familiar with the mayo-laden, overly sweet, too oniony crap that sits at most any BBQ. This is not what I’m ’splainin’ to you. Just whip up any kind of vinaigrette and stick to the same flavor profile. If you are in a hurry, I won’t tell if you buy a quality dressing from the store. Just do yourself a favor and make it a good one. Sometimes, you want a creamy version, just keep in mind, it may be sitting outside for awhile and dairy doesn’t hold well in heat and open air.

3.) Veggies: Go crazy. Go fresh. Go heavy. DO NOT USE CANNED VEGETABLES. I will kill you. Spring is a virtual smorgasbord of new seasonal goodies. Radish, beets, asparagus, garlic (& scapes! see video below), ramps, fiddleheads…yeah. Crazy! If you go for all-around veggies, cucumbers, bell peppers, grape tomatoes (cut whole tomatoes make for a messy salad, avoid them), and corn are great. Olives are fruit and add depth and flavor. Capers are the pickled bud of a flower and also complement a salad. Go easy on these brined or pickled elements as they are really salty.

4.) Protein:Whether you go with meat or not, you have many options here. Grilled chicken or steak amp this up proper but this can get expensive. I often throw in beans or nuts. Chick peas, black beans, walnuts, pepitas (pumpkin seeds), flax seed…the list goes on. These serve as a valuable source of protein but also add texture. Sometimes, I add crumbly cheese, like feta or roquefort, but again, the dairy in the heat thing, may not be a good idea. Try it when you’re having a dinner party inside, though. Avoid soy. I hate to say this, but soy is not good for you. I know, I know. I just flipped some of y’all’s worlds upside down. And please, stay away from the fake meats. That shit is unnatural.

5.) Herbs: Fresh herbs are everywhere in the spring. Parsley, basil, thyme, marjoram, chives, scallions, sage, rosemary. I bought a crapload of potted herbs last month and they are going strong on my stoop. Lemon verbena, oregano, orange mint. Just buy a bag of quality potting soil and repot when you get home. You’ll have a summer full of exciting new flavors–grown by you. I wouldn’t recommend using dry herbs for pasta salads, they lack color and true flavor.

6.) S&P: After you’ve mixed all your fixin’s up, make sure to taste and season. I use crushed red pepper like it’s going out of style, too. It adds a little bit of pep, both in color and spice.

In writing this post, I have officially geeked out. I mean, spring is such a fruitful season, I just went crazy finding resources for you to check out. And like a kid in a candy store, I get so excited by new arrivals at the green markets. Just last week I had lovage on a menu for a cocktail party I did. Here are a few links that are useful for the coming season:

• A list of green markets in US, UK, Canada, & Australia
• New York harvests & produce availability
• What’s fresh and ripe where you live, right now
• List of culinary veggies

Here is a video about garlic scapes that I mentioned earlier (I’m a food dork.):

I was on vacation the past couple of weeks and I decided to bring a little sunshine to all you chilled New Yorkers. St. Thomas, a US Virgin Island, was amazing. We were on the beach every single day. Most of these included day drinking and many included these frozen drinks, Lime In The Coconut. They taste like Key Lime pie except intoxicating and refreshingly slushy. Have some friends over and break out the blender!

Lime In The Coconut Frozen Drink

• 1 can of Coco Lopez or coconut milk
• 2 cups ice
• 3 fresh limes (juiced, peels reserved)
• 4 oz. dark rum (not spiced)
• 4 oz. light rum (Cruzan is yummy)

This is so easy, you’re gonna die. Throw all ingredients in the blender. Just put 2 of the lime peels in, though. Blend. Pour. This should make 2 nice tall frozen fru-fru drinks. Yum…Here are a couple quick pics to rub it in how awesome my vacation was. I am so tan! Check out the St. Thomas review I did on Skimkim yesterday!

It’s time to fire up the grills! Or, if it starts raining, move it inside to the kitchen. Either way, there are a few easy-to-remember steps to making a juicy, flavorful burger.

Quality Meat: Do not go around the corner to Associated or Food Emporium to get your ground beef or chuck. Do go to a store that specializes in quality meat or even better, local meat. Check out the vendors who sell at Union Square Market. In NYC, try LaFrieda Meats (through FreshDirect), DeBragga, & Japanese Premium Beef (cheapest cut is ground chuck). The supply beef to the best restaurants in town and you can get it too and not sacrifice your first-born.

Season: Just use salt & pepper. You only need to dress up burgers if the meat is shitty. Don’t add egg or breadcrumbs–it’a hamburger, not a meatball. Do not put that powdered ranch crap in there either. I will kill you.

Hot Oiled Grill: Or pan. Do not put your meat on a cold grill or pan or the meat will get soggy and grey. It must be piping hot! On a charcoal grill, wait until the coals start to turn ashy, then throw them on. Leaving the cover on the grill will keep the moisture in and allow for a more smoky flavor.

Leave It: Do not press the burger, scoot it around, flip it over 8 times. You press it and all the juices will seep out, making for a thin, flavorless, dry burger. You scoot it around and it won’t get evenly cooked. You flip it too much and you risk it falling apart. For a medium rare burger (the only way to eat them), try 5 minutes per side.

Toast Buttered Bun: Butter that thing and throw it down on the inside ends. Just till it’s toasty, not charred to a crisp.

Cheez-it: Put cheese on 30 seconds before you take it off heat, covered. It will melt perfectly.

Let Sit: If you cut into the burger immediately off the grill, the juices will seep out and leave your burger dry. Let it sit for about 5 minutes so all those delicious flavors can roll around in there.

Flying Pigs Farm has amazing pork if you want to throw a chop on the grill, too.

I’m throwing a huge BBQ in a couple weeks. I have 50lbs of meat that Skimkim Chefs won in a Food Fight Contest on the way. Check the blog for info soon!

Note: The burger above is from my good friend’s restaurant, Joseph Leonard. Check out the review on the blog. Fagat Survey is a weekly column, coming out every Wednesday!

Sexy, right? Anytime I have poached eggs on a plate, when I break the yolk and the creamy, dark yellow dreaminess slowly oozes out, I’m sorry, it’s a beautiful thing. How many ladies out there know men/boys who claim to be the best at making eggs, or rather, that’s “all they can do”? It’s a dude thing. There are so many ways to cook an egg and poaching them seems to be the most intimidating method of them all. It’s not. It takes a slower hand and more attention than a sunny-side up, this is true. But the result is so rewarding!

You don’t need any fancy equipment or ingredients for a Perfectly Poached Peeper:

• 1 egg (or however many you will be serving, don’t crowd your pan, 3-4 at most!)

• 1 Tbs white vinegar

• pinch s&p

• water

In a shallow frying pan, fill to about 2-3 inches deep. Bring water to a simmer. Crack egg into a small dish or teacup (something that you can fit the whole raw egg in with a low lip, so it can easily swim out, when you’re ready). Swirl the water with your spoon and slowly slide the egg into the simmering water. Cover with a lid and let cook about 2 – 4 minutes depending on how soft you like the yolk.  With a slotted spoon, gently remove from the simmering water and place in a bowl of cold water to stop the cooking for about 10-15 seconds. Remove and place on a double folded paper towel to dry. Sprinkle with salt & pepper before you serve.

You cannot skip the vinegar! A little Bill Nye, The Science Guy: It works with the albumen, or protein in the egg white, keeping it firm instead of turning into a stringy mess. The quick water swirl allows for centripetal force to pull the egg to the middle of the pan and cover more surface area of the egg.

Serve these peepers on/with anything. I love love love them on salads, especially with some bacon or lardons and a very light vinaigrette. The silky yolk has so much flavor, you hardly need any dressing. The most common application is for Eggs Benedict where the poached egg is served over an english muffin with canadian bacon and smothered in Hollandaise. Hollandaise is delicious but it’s always overkill. REAL Hollandaise is just eggs and butter, mixed to a frenzy but some restaurants add water to a packet and then ruin your whole meal. Really, just a little crusty bread and salt & pepper makes for a luxurious little snack. Whodda thunk Easter could be so sinful?

If you’re in NYC next weekend, come by the Greenpoint Food Market. We’ll be there with the new spring line!

Drinking Bailey’s while out frolicking with the rest of your heathen drunk friends isn’t exactly the most manly/Irish thing to do because of it’s creamy, sweet, dessert-like nature. Usually, St. Patty’s Day festivities include tons o’ Guinness and Irish Whiskey. At the advanced stages, there are Car Bombs. Although too decadent for drunkfests, Irish Cream is still so damn delicious. Ask anyone who’s slept with Colin Farrell.

When I lived in Amsterdam, my friends’ and I spent a night concocting homemade Egg Nog which is very similar to Irish Cream and it was dreamy–I’ll never forget how much better it was than store bought. Significantly better. Like, HOLY SHIT better. I came up with this Irish Cream recipe the other night and poured a little out for my A’dam homies who are scattered all around the world now. It being the Day of Saint Patrick, I figured this the appropriate time to reveal the recipe. Plus, I should represent my Scotch-Irish half. The Korean half will still enjoy this, even if it’s lactose intolerant. Oh well.

DREAMY IRISH CREAM

• 1 cup Irish Whiskey (I’d say Jameson, but I used to be partial to Bushmill’s and I’ve been known to tip some Tullamore Dew)
• 1 bar dark chocolate, high cacao content, 60-70% is fine
• 1c + 4 Tb sweetened condensed milk (10 oz)
• 1c evaporated milk (8 oz)
• 1c heavy cream
• 1 espresso shot or strong, brewed coffee
• 1/2 tsp natural vanilla extract

In the top of a double boiler*, melt chocolate, stirring constantly until smooth. Remove from heat and add the espresso shot or strong brewed coffee. Pour a cup of whiskey into the chocolate/coffee mixture and stir. Transfer to a large bowl. Gradually stir in the sweetened condensed milk, evaporated milk and vanilla. Stir in the cream and remaining whiskey.

Refrigerate immediately. It actually tastes best after a week or so and it keeps for a super long time. To serve, put some in a martini shaker and then over ice. Or, to be truly decadent, pour some over chocolate ice cream. Oh man.

*Note: Don’t go out and buy a double boiler. It’s easy to replicate with a medium pot, filled about halfway with water and a metal bowl to fit over top. You want the boiling water to not necessarily be completely covering the bottom of the bowl, but rather, heating it up with steam. This allows for indirect heat which will safely melt your chocolate. Try it, I’m right.

If you’re in NYC tonight, I’ll be at Lucky Strike slappin’ my knee, blowing a fife, and rubbing a fiddle starting around 9:30pm. I may dj some, too.

I thought I’d take a break from cooking tips and secrets and vent about my personal philosophies regarding food. I guess these could technically be “cooking secrets” since I’ve never collectively shared them. These bulletpoints are some food-related pet peeves and in no particular order. I really want to see if I’m totally off-base here. Can I get some fries with that shake-shake booby? Shoop, shoop bedeh doop, doop.

Five Things I Hate About Food or the Food Industry: Part 1

1. Truffle Oil

If you ever have the privilege of eating an actual truffle, white or black, you are lucky. Truffles, the rare underground gem of a mushroom, dug up by smell-o-rrific pigs and dogs in damp countrysides, are distinct, delicious, and damn pricey. Truffle oil is a way for the layperson to sample in the luxury, or so you’re told and hack chefs put it on everything. It’s not real, folks. Most often, this so-called “truffle oil” is a synthetic flavor and it’s added to cheap olive oil. It reeks, ruins food, and it’s overpriced. Go get the real thing. Truffle oil is to real truffles as the hollow chocolate bunny is to Jacques Torres.

2. Emperor’s New Restaurant (doesn’t have to be a new spot, necessarily)

Have you ever been to a restaurant and by the end of the experience, you’re like, “Am I taking crazy pills??? Everyone said this place was the jam???” Yeah. Well, this happens pretty much every time I eat out. And I damn the friend(s) who told me to go to “such n’ such, it is AMAZING.” I call this phenomenon the “Emperor’s New Restaurant” because of the fable/tale/story where the king summons the finest tailor and seamster to sew him a masterpiece for his walk in the next parade. So excited by his pending fashion, he hangs on every convincing word that the garb will fit perfectly and be the height of grandeur. He ends up walking nekkid down the street because it was all a hoax. A little kid is the only one to pipe up and say, “Look! He’s nekkid!” If the pork chop is “to die for”, or the mojito is “the best in the city”, I’ll pass. No it’s not. Screw y’all for following the crowd, I know the chef is nekkid.

3. Sheepish Hosts

When you first walk into a restaurant and no one greets you, you end up milling around, trying to catch eye contact with someone who may be a gatekeeper. If said gatekeeper slinks up to you and muffles, “how many” and then can barely reach the menus out of sheer irony at her lack of social skills, walk out. The rest of the night will not fare any better. She is the face of this restaurant. If she cannot invite you in with appropriate gusto, this means that the owner or manager is ok with this sheepishness being your first impression. If you’re into mediocrity or subpar, be my guest, eat up your bland tuna tartare.*

4. Bacon Overload

Bacon is delicious–the almost burnt, crispy smoked meat and juicy salty fat alongside it, all in one bite. But there is such thing as too much of a good thing. If you peruse the interwebs, you will find that someone has found a stupid, inane use for bacon. Bras? Guns? If I had that much time on my hands…jeez. I will admit that I have bacon band-aids. I find myself rating my burns and boo-boo’s, trying to decide which injury is worthy of a fake slab of pig. But that’s a funny, hokey gag-toy. I wasn’t at home one day and decide, hey, we have bacon…I have a boobs! Let’s do this!

5. People Who Order Salt w/ Their Tequila Shots And Claim “I HAVE to have salt or else I _________.”

You’re a loser. Learn how to drink.

I love food. I can’t stand it when it gets ruined. Now you know why. I have more of these, in case you didn’t get your fill. Stay tuned for “Part Deux.”

*Tuna Tartare is so late 90’s. Don’t order that crap. It’s just low-grade tuna, soy sauce and sugar. If you’re at a spot that has it on the menu (I’m sure it comes with “crispy wontons on the side”), just go home and order a cheesesteak. Think about how insulted you were that they would serve you such obsolete fare. (I bet they had “Wasabi Mashed Potatoes” too!!!)