Dear MISSter Simms,
I’ve been seeing this guy now for a few months, and it’s been great! But the other night on the phone we started talking about someone who I don’t like, and I said something pretty mean about the guy. My boyfriend got really quiet and asked what my problem was. He said I invalidated his opinion with mine, that I do it all the time, and that he’s not sure if he can take it anymore because I’m always talking to people in a rude way. Then he spends the next half an hour making the same point. I cried. So, of course, he took that time to tell me how his friends think I’m too opinionated and dismissive.
When we first started dating, he said one of the reasons he was attracted to me was because of my intelligence, wit, and the way that I constantly speak my mind. Now it’s a problem. He doesn’t want me to feel like I need to dumb myself down…just that I need to be nicer and less opinionated during conversations. Now I dig the guy, and we didn’t have any problems up until this point, but I don’t want to compromise who I am. Should I just call it a day and find someone who likes me for who I am, opinions and all?
Should you call it a day. That depends…
Do you want to be with someone who apparently gets butt hurt because you don’t agree with what they’re saying?
Do you want to be with someone who has communication issues?
Do you want to be with someone who’s friend’s don’t seem like you?
Do you want to be told how to express yourself?
If the answer to all these questions is no (or possibly, hell nah), then it’s time to drop him like a hot potato.
You see, your boyfriend is softer than a pile of feathers, cotton balls, and Teddy bears combined. He can’t handle you for who you are. You seem like a strong, confident woman, but he sounds like he might be into someone a little bit more timid and pliable. Someone like the Prince of Zamunda’s first wife in Coming to America. It’s not like your strong opinions have affected your other relationships. You guys haven’t been together that long, and you don’t need to settle. There’s plenty of dude’s out there who would be happy to have a woman who isn’t afraid to stand up for herself.
Need relationship advice? Send your questions over to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com.
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