Dear MISSter Simms,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for two years. In the beginning he was the pursuer, but as time went on I was the one falling head over heels in love with him. However, now I’m not so sure how I feel. Recently my boyfriend has been acting extremely shady. He’ll get wasted at bars, then go stay at his friend’s house instead of coming home to me (because he’s too drunk to drive, you see). This wouldn’t matter much but…his friend lives with a girl who my boyfriend once hooked up with. He’ll also go out and lie about who he’s with. Naturally my reaction has been to be suspicious of his every move and snoop through his things, but that only drives me crazy. The other day he said the four dreaded words to me: “We need to talk.” I panicked. Was he cheating one me? Breaking up with me? Come to find out, the reason why he was being so shady was because I gained weight. Was he really blaming our relationship issues on my 10 lb weight gain? After telling me, he suddenly became more affectionate and loving, but I’m pissed. Should I put up with his shallowness, or should I kick his butt to the curb?
Should you put up with his shallowness? Definitely not. But is that all you’d be putting up with? Definitely not. Let’s see…he’s also being mad shady, mean, and not communicating with you. Is all that worth it to you? I hope not. It seems like right now you are not getting what you need out of this relationship to make putting up with this stuff even remotely worth it. My inner Ms. Cleo tells me that your boyfriend is up to no good and came up with this weight gain excuse to shift the blame over to you and relieve himself of feeling bad about whatever he’s doing. Rather than take responsibility, he’s created a “problem” for you to worry about that takes the heat off of him. It’s a classic Jedi mind trick. What you need to do is confront him and get the truth out of him to find out what the deal really is. If he doesn’t fess up, drop him. If he does…you should still drop him. Because at the end of the day you want someone who can communicate their feelings and isn’t shady as hell, right?
Need relationship advice? Send your questions over to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com.
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