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Ask MISSter Simms – My Boyfriend’s Parents Hate Me

my man's parents hate me

If your man’s parents hate you, YOU may be the problem.

Dear MISSter Simms,

My boyfriend’s parents are nice, but whenever I’m around they never really talk to me or ask me anything about myself.   My boyfriend lives with his parents, and every time I spend the night over his place, they ignore me.   I thought they were shy.  However, one night my boyfriend told me what they actually thought about me.  They think we’re going to break up; that he’s better than me; and that I have an attitude and don’t feel comfortable around me.  I say “hi” to them whenever I see them, but they never really acknowledge me.  My boyfriend said that his mom thinks I should be trying to impress her.  Personally I don’t think I owe her anything, especially not after everything that’s been said about me.  It’s hurtful to know that my boyfriend’s family doesn’t like me, and not only is it hurting me, but it’s hurting his relationship with them as well.  What should I do about all this uncalled for drama?

No More Drama

Dear NMD,

Let’s be really real here.  Your boyfriend’s mom is right.  You should be trying to impress your her and his father while you’re at it. First of all, you’re not spending the night at your boyfriend’s house.  You’re spending the night as his parents’ house. You’re the one showing up all uninvited, taking up space by spending the night, and probably eating all the cheesecake.  You might want to do a little more than say “Hi!” to endear yourself to them.  They may not be friendly to you for a reason.  Have you tried spending time with them?  Sitting in the living room and chatting with them, perhaps?  Asked how they were doing and how their day went?  If you haven’t even attempted any of these things it’s no wonder they think you’ve got an attitude and don’t feel comfortable around you.  Bribery also works.  Try bringing over some homemade baked goods…or wine.  Possibly both!  But not that Barefoot stuff.  Only the finest shall do for his parents if you’re trying to impress them.

Here’s the thing.  Not only do you need to impress your boyfriend’s parents because you’re imposing on them 24/7, but…well…they’re his parents.  And they don’t want their precious boy with some ragamuffin hoochie mama.  You need them to like you because their opinion matters.  Your boyfriend is a lot more likely to like you if his parents like you.  And if you’re boyfriend’s trippin’ and his parents like you, they’ll smack some sense into his head on your behalf.  Besides, them not liking you is messing up your boyfriend’s relationships with his parents.  Don’t you want to smooth things over with them for his sake?

If you think you and your boyfriend have a real future together, you need to get over yourself and start making nice with his parents.  Get your boyfriend to help you.  Instead of him only telling you the negative things his parents are saying about you, have him tell his parents all the things he loves about you.  If you put in the effort, they’ll eventually come around and things will be all good in the hood.

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One Response to “Ask MISSter Simms – My Boyfriend’s Parents Hate Me”

  1. Big Kim says:

    OK now here’s where I disagree with MISSter’s opinion/advice (and I don’t usually). Why should she be trying to impress his mother, if that’s the case then his mother should have been there when the two met!! People get this whole “when you date me you date my family” idea all twisted. She’s not laying up with his family is she?? I’m sure if the parents didn’t allow her to sleep over she wouldn’t be there, she didn’t say she secretly stayed over!! I think parents have a way of intruding on their kids’ personal life because it’s a control issue, just look at the fact that it was said that “they think I’m better than you”. Sounds like they should get their nose outta their son’s butt,outta the high air and into their own business.

    Let’s be all the way honest here MISSter, it sounds like you’re trading ass kissing for likes; what happened to being who you are and being liked based off personal experience instead of pre-judgment? SMH


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