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Ron Simms Jr.
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Ask MISSter Simms – How Many Is Too Many?


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How many is too many? That’s for you to decide.

Dear MISSter Simms,

I was talking to my boyfriend the other day about how many sex partners he considers “too many”.  I’ve personally only had one other partner before my boyfriend, and my girlfriends say they’ve only had a few themselves.  Sounded kind of normal to me.  Meanwhile, my boyfriend says he’s had around 8 previous partners and that “…once you’ve lost count, you’ve had too many sex partners.”  I can’t lie.  His answer really surprised me.  Now, I’m not mad at him nor do I look at him differently now, but I’m still wondering what you would consider too many sex partners.

Curiosity Cat

Dear CC,

The answer to the  age old “How many is too many” question as relates to sex partners tends to differ person to person and culture to culture.  Some people, like your boyfriend, may answer “When you’ve lost count.”  Others may come up with an arbitrary number (“Any more than 3.14159265359 is too many!”).  Really though, it doesn’t matter what I or anyone else thinks is too many.  What matters is what you think is too many.  And really, I don’t think the number actual matters to you.  You were surprised by what your boyfriend told you, but you did run to your girlfriends and freak out about it.  Seems to me that your relationship with your boyfriend and how he treats you is more important than the number of women he’s been with in the past.  You don’t really need other people’s ideas of what’s “normal” or not messing with what you’ve got going on.

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