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Ron Simms Jr.
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Ask MISSter Simms – Does My Secret Lover Have A Secret Lover?

Extramarital affair time

Cam’ron said it best: stop snitchin’

Dear MISSter Simms,

I’ve been secretly seeing someone for the past year.  He’s married, and we have a very intense sexual relationship.   However, I have the feeling that he is seeing another person and doesn’t want anything to do with me.  He hadn’t contacted me in a while, so I called him and gave him the signal that I wanted to talk to him (ring once, hang up).  He never returned my call.

I then decided to write him a letter.  I wanted desperately to know why he hadn’t contacted me in so long.  His response?  Why did I send a letter to his house!  After that he officially broke it off with me.  My question is: why?  And how can I talk to him and possibly convince him to take me back?

Scorned Lover

Dear SL,

Why doesn’t your former secret lover want anything to do with you anymore?  Gee, I don’t know…Could it be because you sent a love letter to his house? You know, the same house where his wife presumably lives?  Here’s the thing about being someone’s jump-off.  Entering into that type of relationship with someone is kind of like the same as when two would-be drug dealers decide to get in the game.  In both situations when you get caught up, your not supposed to snitch to the Feds (who in your case is the wife).  While snitching drug dealers usually get shot in the head, you luckily only get dropped like a sack of liposuctioned fat.  Really, though, I think you did all that on purpose to get his attention.  Why else would you send a handwritten letter to the guys house?  Considering that you wrote me this letter, I know you’re familiar with the internet and email, a perfectly valid way to get in touch with someone without alerting their significant other.

I have no idea why your secret boo stopped contacting you in the first place, but I can tell you that whatever you had is definitely over now.  While you’ve got all this downtime, I suggest you go out there and look for someone who isn’t married.  You’d be surprised how much better off a relationship like that would be.

Need relationship advice?  Send your questions over to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com.

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5 Responses to “Ask MISSter Simms – Does My Secret Lover Have A Secret Lover?”

  1. First Lady says:

    OMG I read your posts all the time, daily… I just love your answers and I literally laughed out loud at this one. These type of females anger me… then they wonder why they’re alone. She sounds like a bird, no disrespect but she does… good answer.

  2. Jana says:

    Entering into an extramarital affair with someone is NOTHING like two drug dealer getting into the game! Unless they’re banging each other. Why M.I.S.S allows these post to happen is beyond me. I understand that getting advice from a male perspective can sometimes be helpful. Most of the time the response provided by MISSter Simms is short sighted, unhelpful, and kind of shaming the writer of the question. Perhaps asking this girl why she feels she wants this man back to begin with is a good place to start off. Not that she will actually answer but just to get some thought flow going on to ask herself the bigger questions about this situation. And finally, no shit she wrote the letter for attention. Why is she so undeserving of such? The two were involved in an intimate affair and the man entered into it willingly. He should have the common decency and respect to acknowledge your existence and face you like a man to shed light on what the deal is. Where is the advice given in the response?

  3. First Lady says:

    Jana, you sound like you co-sign this kind of thing, hmm. Not judging you if you do, do you boo boo…. Speaking only for me I don’t see anything wrong with these type of posts, it goes to show that women are still lacking in the confidence genre of life and are interacting in the one of the oldest professions of past time play–being a jump off!! A woman who is someone’s “side piece” should know her place and play her position… She should’ve taken his hint and moved on but instead she wants an answer to the obvious. She deserves a lot more than to be acnowledged hint-hint… Jana have a seat already!!

  4. Hey, Jana. Thanks for the feedback! I’ll keep your comments in mind for the future.

  5. Jana says:

    I co-sign on mature communication in any relationship. I’m withholding my judgment on this woman because I don’t know the details. So if doing that in conjunction with thinking this woman and all women who get dropped with no explanations deserve such then yeah, I co sign boo boo. The world ain’t perfect and neither are people. Sometimes we wind up in situations we never thought we would; be it entering a situation with informed consent, being manipulated, or flat out lied to about it. Which is why not every woman in such a situation needs to “know her place”. Also, we don’t need a column full of pseudo advice and commentary (aka slut shaming) that is seething with sarcasm at the writer’s expense to tell us that we are still “lacking in the confidence genre”. How care about women’s confidence in the life genre while you pat girls like the writer on the head and tell her to know her place and position is beyond me. I’d also like to add that I’m a regular reader of MISS and have been for a years. This is the first time I decided to comment on this blog with anything remotely negative. The end/sitting down


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