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Ron Simms Jr.
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Ask MISSter Simms – Just A Friend

Friends and lovers

Sometimes you need to back off and give a guy some space

Dear MISSter Simms,

I’m a 27-year-old woman and very much in love with a man who has two wonderful sons and recently ended a six-year relationship. We’ve been seeing each other for only a short time, and yesterday he told me he was not ready for a relationship. Needless to say, I was devastated. I have offered to just be his friend, but how do I get him to love me again?

Lost Love Girl

Dear LLG,

Wanting to be “friends” with the person you love so that you can maintain a presence in their life with the hopes of one day taking it to the next level rarely, if ever, works.  Why?  I’m not sure…but once you get in the friendzone (regardless of gender), it’s hard to get out, kind of like emotional quicksand!  Since dude said he’s not ready for a relationship yet, a better idea would be to leave him alone completely and then reemerge several months later saying you were thinking about the kids and wanted to take them out (the more sincere you sound, the better).   Chances are he’ll want to come along.  Don’t even think about trying to stop him.  At that point enough time should have passed that you could start planting the seeds for an eventual “more than friendship” type of relationship.

Need relationship advice?  Send your questions over to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com.


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