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Ron Simms Jr.
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Ask MISSter Simms – My Boyfriend’s A Mama’s Boy

mama's boy

Well…at least he didn’t murder his father and attempt to marry his mother…

Dear MISSter Simms,

I’m dating a mama’s boy.  We’ve been together for several years now, and our relationship has mostly been good.   He just turned 26 and moved out of his parents home, but he can’t seem to ditch the umbilical cord connecting him to his mother.  He still clings to her, going out with her as often as he can, and spending weekends back at his parents house instead of with me.  Doesn’t he know how to say no?  What I want to know is, how can I get him to ditch his mother for a minute and make more time for me?

MB Lover

Dear MB Lover,

Once upon a time I myself was a mama’s boy.  I used to do everything with my mama: shopping at Hechts (or Macy’s, as they’re known now), eating at the Cheesecake Factory, chilin’ at the family beauty salon, whipping up massive amounts of pancakes.  Every time I had a problem, I ran to my mama.  My mama was a pretty huge influence in my life…until one day I met a real nice girl who, like you, did not approve of me and my mama’s boy ways.   You know what she did?  Kidnapped me and turned me into her shaboinkin’ slave!  I’m exaggerating (a tad), but she basically just showed me the things she could do for me that my mama couldn’t (or shouldn’t).  That’s what you need to do.  Grab your boyfriend one weekend, drag him away from his mama, and show him a time that he’ll never forget.  That could mean poppin’ it like Vita Guerra in a mid 2000s rap video, or just sitting down with him and learning the ins and outs of multi-player Call of Duty.  Just do whatever it takes and he’ll only remember his mother exists when Christmas comes around!

Need relationship advice?  Send your questions over to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com.

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