Dear MISSter Simms,
I have a confession to make: I’m in love with a musician.
The thing is, I know I have no future with this guy. Every woman he’s ever been with has left him for various reasons, but one of the main reasons is because he has a bad smoking habit. They seem to be cool with it at first, but eventually get tired and give him ultimatums. He’s always chosen smoking over women. When he told me that, it made me want to save him! I wanted to show him that I cared! So I started making surprise visits to his house to bring him things and try to get him out and active. But he didn’t seem to happy about that. He actually turned me away one time and claimed he was sleeping.
I decided I would leave him alone, but I still go past his house to see if he’s home. I just want to go in there and force him to stop smoking so he’ll finally realize that I’m more important than cigarettes!
The Anti-Smoking Crusader
If only I had a nickel for every time I heard a story from a woman in love with someone yet wanting to change the person they’re in love with. I’d be like…the richest person on the planet. And I’d spend all my money on chicken nuggets, tater tots, and chipotle mayonnaise. But back to the topic at hand…
What you need to realize is that if you really, truly, love someone, you won’t try to change them. Or, at least, you won’t force change upon them. They also don’t stalk people and randomly show up at their houses without calling. Haven’t you ever heard that one Outkast song from Stankonia? What you need to do is take a deep breath, relax, and leave that poor guy to be alone with his cigarettes. If he wants you, he’ll come a knockin’. In the meantime I suggest you find someone to fall in love with that you don’t feel the need to “save”.
Need relationship advice? Send your questions over to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com.
- Ask MISSter Simms: My Boyfriend’s A Pothead
- Ask MISSter Simms – Did I Drop Him Too Soon?
- Ask MISSter Simms – Two’s Company, Three’s a Crowd
- Ask MISSter Simms – Just A Friend
- Ask MISSter Simms: How Can I Stop Feeling Like We Should Be Serious?