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Ask MISSter Simms – Did I Drop Him Too Soon?

Did I Drop Him Too Soon?

Did I Drop Him Too Soon?

Dear MISSter Simms,

A couple of weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend.  We had been dating for about half a year.  He was actually a great guy, very easy to get along with, somewhat funny, respectful, and very smart.  We got along 95% of the time, which wasn’t really the case with any of my other boyfriends.  He just wasn’t affectionate enough for me and didn’t really know how to express himself.  Plus he wouldn’t be around  from time to time when I really needed him. 
This one time I got a huge promotion at my job that I’d really been wanting to get, and when I tried to contact him to tell him the good news he was nowhere to be found…for a couple of days.  Another time we had talked about taking a weekend trip, and when the time came he was again nowhere to be found.  The third time something like that happened I had had enough and broke it off with him.  He was great, but the low key affection coupled with the random disappearances was enough.  
Or so I thought…now I miss him!  Like, really miss him!  I liked things better when he was in my life!  Am I crazy?  Did I break things off too soon?  Or was I right to let him go like that?  What do you think?
Cut Off Too Soon?
Dear COTS,
No, I don’t think you’re crazy per se…But I will if you get back with him.
Here’s why.
In theory you had a great dude who you got along with most of the time, was smart, funny, respectful blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda…and that’s all well and good.  But, like you said, he’s not the type to shout out “I LOVE YOU” in the middle of an Italian restaurant or to cup your booty in public, and that seems very important to you.  On top of all that, he seems like he could be more flaky than a Toaster Strudel at the worst possible times.
These are all valid reasons to break up with someone in my book.  Because I ultimately believe that people rarely change, and when it happens it’s only because of some major event that has caused a person to rethink their whole outlook on things.  You know, like the person who’s like “SCREW YOGA!” then nearly dies from a cheeseburger induced heart attack and becomes a yoga evangelist the next day.  If you had stayed in the relationship, you would have just been miserable trying to change him to suit your image and he would probably resent your attempts.  Then you would have broken up anyway, only it would have been the bitter kind of breakup that is even more difficult to recover from.
You did the right thing.  Time to move on and find someone that more closely matches everything you’re looking for in a significant other.

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