Dear MISSter Simms,
I was driving to have lunch with a girlfriend of mine one day when I got a call from my boyfriend. He wasn’t saying anything directly to me, but I could hear him talking to someone in the background. After about 5 minutes I finally realized what was going on: my boyfriend was trying to solicit a prostitute for sex, and had accidentally called me in the process. I waited a while, called him back, told him to check when he last called me, and then told him not to come home. This wasn’t the first time my boyfriend had done something to me that was very, very wrong, and I vowed from that day forward not to take him back like I’d done in the past.
But…it’s hard. I’m a very forgiving person, and it takes every ounce of strength I have not too break down and tell him to come back to me. I know that being with him again will only lead to trouble, pain, and probably therapy down the line, but a part of me really misses him. What can I do to convince myself that I’m doing the right thing and to focus on something other than him?
Bad Habit Kicker
What you need to do in this situation is perform one of those Men In Black style mind wipes on yourself, except instead of blinding yourself with a flashy thingie you need to remove any and all remnants of your ex-boo from your life. First things first: get rid of any of his crap that may be laying around your living area. Scour the place with a fine toothed comb if you have to. Because people are crazy and illogical, these things will remind you of the good times that you cherish and not of the times he was out trying to score prostitutes. Once you’ve gathered everything, burn it! Desperate times call for desperate measures, you know!
Once that’s taken care of the next step is removing any possible ways to contact him. That means deleting his number out of your phone, his email address from your address book, his work number…any and everything. You need to delete his friends from your life too, as they are possible links back to him that’ll do their best to tell you how much he loves you, and misses you, and neeeeddsss you. No time to get all weak in the knees here. Once you’ve cut off all contact and virtually erased him from your life, you should be set! Oh, and be sure to take up something that’ll keep your thoughts occupied for a while. Something like…knife throwing.
Need relationship advice? Send your questions to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com and you might be featured on the next installment of Ask MISSter Simms.
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