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Ron Simms Jr.
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Ask MISSter Simms: Popping the Cherry

Losing my religion

When's a good time to give up the goods, and with whom?

Dear MISSter Simms,
I’m 21 years old, and I’m still a virgin.  People say you should wait for the right guy, and to save it for somebody really special, but I’m getting kind of anxious now and I haven’t had a boyfriend for a couple of years.  However, there is this guy in one of my classes that seems to be really interested in me.  How do I know?  Because he sent me a suggestive text message saying I should be more experimental in the sex department.  Now, we’re
pretty good friends, but we’re not THAT close.  But now I’m wondering….should I just have sex with this guy and no longer be a virgin?  If I don’t do it now, what if I get older and am still a virgin?  Or does it even matter?  Any help would be appreciated!
The Anxious Virgin
Dear TAV,
Ah, I remember my first time having sex.  It was with my high school girlfriend.  We’d been dating for like 2 or 3 years by that point and knew each other quite well.  The experience was awkward and hilarious and involved lots of fumbling, bumbling, and tomfoolery that would get me blacklisted by every girl in America if I were to do that stuff today.  As you can probably tell, I look back on that experience very fondly to this very day.
Would it have turned out that way if I’d banged a stranger or someone I knew, but wasn’t that close to? Doubtful. It was memorable because of the person I was with.  Had it been someone else, I probably would have just been embarrassed, ashamed, and would have never unzipped my pants ever again (in the presence of a lady, that is).  My first time I made a whole bunch of mistakes, but it was cool because my girlfriend was comforting, understanding, and fun.  You want your first time to be like that – not something that could potentially scar you for life.
As my homegirl once told me about her first sexual experience, “When I first had sex, it didn’t mean anything at all.  Just something to do.  And I felt bad afterwards.” Don’t let that happen to you!
Need relationship advice?  Send your questions over to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com.

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One Response to “Ask MISSter Simms: Popping the Cherry”

  1. C.T says:

    Yo The Anxious Virgin,

    I’m 25 and still hold the V-Card.
    Sure I’ve thought about all that stuff too, about just getting it over and done with. As something we tick off our to-do list. But when I really think about it, once this is ticked off my list… I know that it’s something I can’t take back. Besides, don’t you want to share that special moment in your life with someone you’re in love with, or really care about?
    Good luck with making the decision.


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