Dear MISSter Simms,
I will keep this short and simple. I’m a college student and have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. During that time we have been very sexually active. Every couple of months or so, I bring up the topic of STD testing with my boyfriend, and he always tries to change the subject as quickly as possible. After a while I give up. What I want to know is how do I better approach the subject of STD testing so that my boyfriend doesn’t freak out? I just want to make sure that the both of us are safe.
Sexually Active Suzzie
I just think you need to be straight up with your boo. You need to be like, “Hey, guy, let’s go get tested together!” and you need to actually mean it. If he keeps resisting it could be a couple of things: 1) He’s afraid of getting tested because he heard they shove a Q-tip up your pee hole….at least, that’s what kept me from tested when I was in college. 2) He thinks you’re accusing of spreading STDs around like candy gets spread on Halloween. 3) He’s actually got something, and he knows it, because he picked it up from a classy prostitute downtown.
Really, fear and a smattering of laziness is what seems to keep people from getting tested. You need to explain to him just how important this is to you, and present him with some actual STD testing facts if you have to. There are STD testing myths, and there’s STD testing reality. Your boyfriend needs a dose of realness to make him realize just how easy and non invasive testing is these days.
And, like I mentioned above, tell him you want to go get tested together. That way he won’t think of you as accusing him of being riddled with STDs, or cheating on you, or whatever, and he’ll feel a lot more comfortable knowing that you’re both going through the same things.
Need relationship advice? Send your questions over to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com.
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