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Ron Simms Jr.
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Ask MISSter Simms: My Boyfriend Disgusts Me


What happens when the man you fell in love with turns into someone else?

Dear MISSter Simms,

I have sort of a huge problem (no pun intended): my boyfriend has become very overweight.   When we first met in college, he wasn’t a Greek god or anything, but he definitely looked good without a shirt off.  Four years later and he’s really let himself go.  Now I don’t find him sexy AT ALL.  I actually find him kind of repulsive now.  To encourage him to lose some weight, I got him a gym membership.  How many times did he go?  Twice.  Then I got him on Weight Watchers, but he’d never want to stick to the plan and just wound up maintaining his current weight.  Of course, my boyfriend has needs and wants to have sex on a regular basis…but I never am in the mood anymore.  How can I really have sex with someone I’m not attracted to?  When I explain this to him, he gets mad or upset, and occasionally I will feel bad for him and just do it anyway.   I never enjoy it though.  Am I a bad person?  Should I feel this way about my boyfriend?

Sad Slim Sally

Dear SSS,

If you’re no longer attracted to your boyfriend and are being pressured into having pity sex, then the only sensible thing to do is to dump him like a sack of Idaho potatoes and keep it movin’.   Now if the sole reason for dumping your boyfriend was because he put on a few extra (hundred) pounds, then I’d call you a horrible, shallow person and throw eggs at you.  So.  Many.  Eggs.  But the fact of the matter is there’s no point in staying in a relationship where you’re only shaboinking the dude because you either a) want to shut up his whining or b) just feel sorry for him.  Isn’t sex supposed to be about love, or passion, or baby making?  Staying with him will only make the both of you a lot more miserable than you are now.  Splitting would give you the chance to find a new, more svelte man and your boo the chance to find either a girl who loves him as he is or possibly the motivation to lose the weight.

Need relationship advice?  Send your questions to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com and you might be featured on the next installment of Ask MISSter Simms.

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