Dear MISSter Simms,
First, thanks for reading my letter. Now, I’ve been dating this guy for a year and we are in love. I mean REALLY in love. It’s like we’ve known each other forever. I can’t even really imagine living without him now and am not sure how I ever lived without him in the first place. That’s how serious it is. But, of course, there is a problem. Why else would I be writing to you? You see, while WE are very much in love, my family hates him and his family. I come from a pretty stable, fairly well off family, while my boyfriend comes from a poorer family that has lots of problems. He is super hardworking and has to help provide for his family while his brother goes off and parties 24/7.
My parents are worried that my boyfriend and his family won’t ever be able to take care of me if we got married. I, on the other hand, think we would be just fine if we got married in a few years. But I know that if we did get married, my family would not be happy…and I couldn’t be happy if my family hated me. But then I wouldn’t be happy if I had to dump my boyfriend due to my family’s pressure either. Should I give in to my parents and crush this guys heart forever, or give in to my own desires and be disowned? Help!
Love or Money
I think it’s time you severed the cord and cut your family off.
I can understand why you’d feel such intense loyalty to your family. They take care of you and have probably been there the entirety of your life, raising you, giving you things you wanted, making sure you weren’t broke or stripping in a dive bar to pay for college. They’ve probably been there through all the hard times in your life. I’m sure they love you very, very much.
Now you’ve got your own boo that you’re thinking of starting a family with some day, which is awesome. And they’re hating because, to them, your boyfriend isn’t good enough. The thing is, if he’s good enough for you he should be good enough for them too. Who cares if he’s broke and comes from a broke family. According to you he’s hard working, and I assume you’d be pulling your own weight should the two of you get married. If you were into the 24/7 partying brother, then I’d think you were crazy…but you’re into the sensible one. They should be happy for you! Your happiness should be there happiness etc…etc…
You only get one life, and in this situation you need to start living it for yourself. It may make you sad to piss off your parents so much, but I think you’d be even more unhappy if you were to drop your boo for them. You’d always be wondering what could have been, and you’d probably grow to resent your parents since they’d be the ones who coerced you into doing it. I think your parents need to get over themselves. And you should totally tell them that. They found each other and their own slice of happiness. Why can’t you?
Need relationship advice? Send your questions to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com and you might be featured on the next installment of Ask MISSter Simms.
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