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Ron Simms Jr.
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Ask MISSter Simms: Haunted By My Past

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Alcohol + webcam = boyfriend problems

Dear MISSter Simms,

I need your advice.  I have sort of a “sordid” past and my boyfriend doesn’t like it.  In fact, I’ve tried numerous times to put it behind me, but my boyfriend always finds reasons to bring it up.  Early in our relationship I did something pretty harmless, but very stupid.  I got drunk and showed some guys I know my boobs over the internet.   My boyfriend was very upset about it when I told him, and obviously he still thinks about it.  The thing is, I told him it only happened once…when it really happened twice.  There’s a part of me that feels guilty for not telling the whole truth, and I’m wondering if I should come out and say what actually happened.

I don’t think my boyfriend would dump me if I told him, but it would make our relationship more difficult.  When I initially told him what I did, he actually went and confronted the guys in person about it trying to find out if I did anything else.  And the other guy I showed my boobs to has a girlfriend.  I don’t want my boyfriend confronting him and possibly ruining someone else’s relationship.  Should I tell him, or just keep it to myself and learn to deal with it?

Webcam Grl

Dear Webcam Girl,

Here’s what I think: everyone doesn’t need to know everything…even your significant other.  Everyone does stupid stuff in their lives, especially when alcohol is involved.  The thing is, telling your significant other about every stupid thing you’ve done doesn’t always serve a purpose.  I’d say it usually causes unnecessary drama.  Your boy keeps bringing up your past because he doesn’t trust you, so why add more fuel to the fire by telling him something else and basically confirming his fears?

Something else you need to consider: do you even want to be in this relationship anymore?  You and your boyfriend need to have a serious conversation and figure out the answer to that question.  Things aren’t going to work out between you guys if he’s constantly bringing up something you did however long ago.  He won’t be able to fully love you because he doesn’t trust you, and you’ll be miserable as he continuously dangles past actions over your head.  If you guys come to the conclusion that you can move on from this (i.e., him not bringing the boob incident up again, ever),  then cool.  Otherwise you might need to be on to the next one…and keep your boobs in your shirt while you’re at it.

Need relationship advice?  Send your questions to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com and you might be featured on the next installment of Ask MISSter Simms.

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