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Ask MISSter Simms: I Cheated On My Boyfriend. Now What?


Dear MISSter Simms,

I love my boyfriend a lot.  Wait, not boyfriend.  More like fiance now.  We’ve been together a long time and I can easily see myself spending the rest of my life with him.  The thing is…he’s in the army, and right now he’s stationed overseas.  I’m supposed to be moving there with him in a couple of months, and he’s already been gone for three months.  I miss him like crazy!  However, the other night I was with an old friend of mine and we wound up making out.  A lot.  And now I feel really guilty for cheating on my boyfriend.  I think I did what I did because I miss having that kind of physical contact with my boyfriend.  If he knew what happened I’m sure he’d leave me.  Should I even tell him?

Big Mistake Maker

Dear BMM,

Uh-oh.  Before I answer whether or not you should tell your boyfriend about what you’ve done, I think I need to address something else first, that being why you cheated on your boyfriend in the first place.  You said it was because you missed being affectionate with him…and this was 3 months after he left?  If that’s the case, I have a feeling you’ll wind up cheating on him a million times over.  Think about it.  He’s in the army, and he’s going to get sent off to random places super often.  One day he’ll be in Germany.  The next day he’ll be in Japan.  And after that he could wind up in Kuwait or something.  Meanwhile you’ll be at home alone.  Granted you won’t always be surrounded by old friends to make out with, but who’s to say you won’t find someone else?  I think you need to make sure you’re really ready to be in a relationship with someone who won’t be around more often than not, especially if you’re about to get married to them.  Cheating on your boyfriend is one thing.  Cheating on your husband is even worse.

That being said….people do make mistakes.  Whether or not you should tell him about this particular one depends, really.  I’m of the opinion that what people don’t know won’t hurt them (unless it’s like, “Hey, there are landmines over there!” or, “Hey, a nuclear bomb went off here a few years ago!”  Not knowing that would hurt you for sure), and if you were to tell him, your relationship would probably be over.  It would be hard for him to ever trust you again, especially knowing the reason why you did it.  You wouldn’t want to ruin a long relationship over a one time mistake….assuming it is never ever ever going to happen again.  If you do cheat on him again, then I would definitely tell him.  At that point it’s no longer a mistake and more a pattern.  You’d probably want to look into getting a boyfriend that doesn’t constantly move around in that case.

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One Response to “Ask MISSter Simms: I Cheated On My Boyfriend. Now What?”

  1. C_Rocka C_Rocka says:

    I’m with MISSter Simms, honey if you did it now only with him only being gone three months you need to look at yourself. Are you ready for the commitment or even in love with this man? If you did it now you’ll do it again. Long distance is a true test to a relationship and it doesn’t seem like you’re passing with flying colors.

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