Dear MISSter Simms,
I broke up with my boyfriend of several years a few months ago. I was very much in love with him, but our relationship was rocky and we both couldn’t really handle it anymore. I thought I was happy, and I was…until I met his new girlfriend. Now I feel betrayed, and all my old feelings for him are coming back. I find myself laying awake at night wondering, “What if?” How do I deal with feeling hurt and betrayed at the same time? Should I finally start dating other people?
Hurt, Betrayed, Confused
Everyone at some point in their life has to deal with an ex moving on before they do, and nobody seems to particularly enjoy the feelings that that evokes. It’s perfectly normal. What you need to do is not worry about what your ex is up to and instead focus on yourself. Give yourself time to “grieve” before you go rushing into a new relationship. Spend time kicking it with your friends. Get to know yourself better. Evaluate your past relationship, figure out what went wrong, and determine what you’re looking for in your next boo. Jumping into another relationship in order to get over your ex will only lead to another troubled (and ultimately failed) relationship. You need to truly get over your ex first, and the next relationship you get into needs to develop organically over time. Remember, you got out of your relationship because it was too much for you two to handle. Would you really want to be back in a situation like that?
Need relationship advice? Send your questions to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com and you might be featured on the next installment of Ask MISSter Simms.
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