Dear MISSter Simms,
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the past 10 months. A month ago he told me he needed some space, some time to chill and sort things out with his life. He said he had a lot going on at the time between his job issues and problems with his mom. Then he said he wasn’t sure if he wanted me or not. This type of behavior is normal for him when he’s stressed out, so I decided to give him his space and see what happens. This past week we saw each other and talked about “us”. He still has my picture in his wallet and said he’s been keeping up with me through Facebook.
I still have stuff of mine at his house, but he doesn’t want me to come get it. We’ve both had dates since going on our hiatus, but we also both agreed that we still want to see each other and hang out. I’m just not really sure what he wants exactly…is he actually into me and just needed time to figure that out, or is he trying to keep me close until something better comes along?
Now I understand there are people out there who go into a comatose state the second there is some stress in their life. I’m not going to say it’s normal (or healthy), but it’s not super unusual. What I do find interesting is that, after 10 months of dating, some stuff goes down and now he’s unsure if you guys should still be together. It almost sounds like he’s looking for an out, like he’s got a commitment phobia or something else is going on to make him question your relationship. He could just feel like he’s slowly losing his freedom. Getting into a monogamous relationship usually means sacrificing things. Girls don’t have an issue with it, but for guys it can be the end of life as we know it.
So here’s my advice to you. If your dude is unsure of what he wants then don’t waste your time devoting all your energy to him. Keep on dating him and see where it goes, but don’t be afraid to date around too. Let him know what you’re doing, of course. He’ll either come to the realization that he wants you or he’ll continue to back away. Either way, don’t base your decisions on whether or not he’ll be in your life.
Need relationship advice? Send your questions to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com and you might be featured on the next installment of Ask MISSter Simms.
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