Recently, I had a long overdue meet up with a dear friend. We got each other up-to-date over lychee martinis, and as we moved into dinner, we opened up more about real issues in each of our lives. It wasn’t that we weren’t being open or honest before, but the conversation got deeper as we revealed fears and wishes we each had.
We started to talk about things we wish were different, and the efforts to make these things happen. Conversation moved around what we want, what we are comfortable taking action on, and the corresponding risks and disappointments. My friend shared how there are few people who are physically close that she also feels emotionally close to. There are fun friends to go out with, people we call for certain situations or types of events, but a much smaller group of friends we don’t have to explain ourselves to or filter what we invite them to or call on them for. Some we’d invite to a streetwear party, others to a gay bar, but who would we call if we had a scary health concern we needed support with? Who would help us out of a jam?
As she spoke, I was honored and impressed how in just telling me these things she was already opening up. It’s the same as if she were to call someone when something was really wrong- she’d be opening up to that person. To ask for help requires letting ourselves be vulnerable and reveal that to someone else. I appreciate how difficult that can be; I personally have a sensitive spot about letting others see my vulnerabilities.
Perhaps we don’t really know how close we are to others or what circle of friends we can consider them unless we give them a chance. We have to open up, which may result in us being rejected, misunderstood, or unheard. Still, we have be open to connect on the level we want and have our needs met. Some people know when to be there for us and exactly what we need, and they should be cherished. Since they are so rare and valuable, it’s up to us to let others know what we are in need of, and give them a shot.
Take a chance on others and reveal your true self.
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