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Ron Simms Jr.
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female friend crush

Does your boyfriend have a secret female friend crush?

Dear Mr. Simms,

I’m in a bit of a jam and need your advice.  So my boyfriend goes to school out of state, coming back home during all the usual holidays.  But he has about 10 days of vacation coming up and has decided to spend it driving 10 hours to go see a girl friend of his.  Honestly I’m feeling a bit weirded out by that…This girl friend isn’t like all his other girl friends, at least in my mind.  The way he talks about her is just a bit different, like he has a crush on her or something.  And she can be VERY touchy feely.  He asked me if I wanted to go, but should I?  I mean it’s not like his friend invited me so it could be super awkward if I did show up.  Of course, the alternative is sitting at home and constantly wondering what my boyfriend is up to.  What do you think I should do?

Weighing the Options

Dear WTO

When I was in college way back when, I had more than my fair share of female friends.  Most of these female friends were just that: friends.  But, from time to time, they’d want to be a little bit more than friends.  One such incident happened my last year in college, when I had a girlfriend.  And instead of spending my Spring Break with her down in DC.  I went all the way to friggen (a 16 hour bus ride mind you) to see one of my female friends.  Why?  One, I hadn’t been to Canada in eternity.  Two, I was tryin’ to get my shag on.  I don’t know where your boy’s friend lives, but I don’t think he’s making that long ass drive just to view the scenery.

I wouldn’t go with him because, like you said, you weren’t invited.  But I would definitely have a honest talk with your boo before he goes up there.  Find out if he ever liked this girl in the past, how he feels about her now, and if he would try and hook up with her if she was available.  Don’t even think about beating around the bush, either.  Be as direct as humanly possible.  If he can’t look you in the eye and tell you the truth, then he’s probably up to something.  If he gets uncomfortable with your questioning, then he’s probably up to something.  And if he gets incredibly defensive then DING DING DING he’s definitely up to a long distance shaboinking fest.

Need relationship advice?  Send your questions over to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com.

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