Dear MISSter Simms
I recently got back together with an ex-boyfriend of mine after several years of being together and 9 months of being apart. During that time we both realized that we were the best thing in each others’ lives. However, in order to come to that conclusion we dated other people, and now a girl that my boyfriend dated during that period is now claiming to be carrying his child. As soon as I heard the news I broke down and cried. Maybe I’m being selfish, but I didn’t think my relationship would include my boyfriend, his ex-lover, and their child. I love my boyfriend dearly, but can’t help but be depressed by it all. How do I get to a point where I can actually deal with everything and eventually come to accept it?
Baby Mama Drama
First off, let’s just get this out of the way: things with your boyfriend will never be the same again. Your boyfriend may have been unaware he was impregnating someone at the time, but he did. And now the consequences of his actions are coming back to haunt him and, unfortunately, you. The way I see it you have two options. You can either continue to stay with him, knowing that at times you’ll have to deal with this other woman and their child, or you can leave dissatisfied with the addition of these other people into your once perfect relationship.
Deciding what to do, I think, should be based on the strength of your relationship. If you truly do love each other like you say you do, then the strength of the bond between you two should be enough to get you through this obviously difficult situation. You’ll have to be patient and supporting while also establishing boundaries concerning what you will and won’t do for this other relationship your boyfriend has. However, if you think this situation is something that could easily break the two of you then there’s no use in staying in the relationship. You’ll probably only get more depressed as time goes by trying to make it work and failing.
Need relationship advice? Send your questions over to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com.
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