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Ron Simms Jr.
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Ask MISSter Simms – Flirtatious Friendships

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Flitartious friendships: annoying or dangerous to your health?

Dear Mr. Simms,

My boyfriend, who I’ve been dating for the past few months, has a best friend who’s a girl.  When he’s not spending time with me he usually spends time with her and his other friends.  Normally I wouldn’t have a problem with this, but I’ve seen some questionable text messages between the two, including some “I love yous”.  I confronted my boyfriend about it, but he just said that they do love each other as friends and that’s it.  I’m trying to trust my boyfriend here because he’s a pretty great guy, but I’m still have feelings of insecurity.  What should I do?

Here’s the deal.  I think your boyfriend and his best friend as passively flirting with each other and possibly don’t realize it or do and don’t give a crap.  Either way I don’t think your boyfriend is going to go running into this other chicks arms anytime soon, if ever.  They both may think that nothing will ever happen between them, so they won’t even attempt anything.  Or it’s 100% harmless and they’re just some flirty people.

Now I can totally see how this would be a problem for you, but my advice to you is to wait it out.  It seems like a more annoyance than an actual threat to your relationship.  They were BFFs long before you came into the picture (I’m thinking), so it’s not like you can just tell him to get rid of her and keep it moving.  But if it does continue to be annoying to you some months down the road then definitely bring it up again and try to come up with a solution, which means changing, but not ending, their relationship a bit.  At least that’s what he’ll do if he cares about your feelings.

Need relationship advice?  Send your questions to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com and you might be featured on the next installment of Ask MISSter Simms.

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