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Dear Summer: Friendly Flirting… Get What YOU Want!


Being a girl, pursuing a potential mate can be tricky. I have friends who swear up and down that they’ve never and never will, chase a man. Beyond being considered “desperate and unladylike”, a woman in hot pursuit still carries a sad, social stigma-which is one of the reasons the term COUGAR came to fruition. BS is what I think! In business terms, finding success includes having a clear vision of EXACTLY what you want and relentlessly going after it. So why not apply that to dating?

I remember the first time I saw my boyfriend. I knew who he was and knew he was in a relationship, but the moment he stepped into my eyeline, a lightbulb went off in my head. Ok, it was more so in my nether regions, but that’s TMI. Although I’m still skeptical about “love at first sight”, I’m a firm believer in going with your gut. I knew what I wanted. Time passed and I found myself single again. Luckily for me, he was single again too and through a mutual friend, I got his contact info. I had heard that it was his birthday, so I took the initiative and sent him a simple message via text: “Happy Birthday Eric, this is Summer” Nothing more, nothing less. He replied by telling me I was the last person he expected to hear from (which pretty much translated to “Wow, you know I exist?”) and I was flattered. My nonchalant nudge just to let him know he was on my mind worked and it’s been working ever since.

When it comes to dating, visualizing exactly what it is you want from a person is one thing. Actually obtaining it is another. Properly pursuing a man requires time, patience, and well, BALLS. Too many of us obsess over rules, technicalities, and game playing in general. Putting your pride aside has its rewards so don’t wait around for him to make that move!  To me, there’s nothing cooler than a woman who’s able to elusively assert herself. Elusively meaning, stay under the radar a little. Don’t take it too seriously and test the waters before bombarding him with “thinking of you” texts. That’s dramatic. A simple “What’s up” never loses its sparkle, even in long term relationships. Soon enough, it’ll be him blowing up your phone anyway. You just gotta be patient.

To be an effective flirt, you have to learn to just chill out sometimes. If you’re overexcited, he’ll sense it, lose interest and/or get annoyed. There’s a world of difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Asserting yourself is simply communicating what you think and what you’d like to occur- in any situation. So don’t consider yourself a cougar, consider yourself CONFIDENT and go for it. A simple “hello” can turn a crush into the real thing.

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One Response to “Dear Summer: Friendly Flirting… Get What YOU Want!”

  1. Camille says:

    gonna start printing these.

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