Dear MISSter Simms,
I just recently turned 25 and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 9 months. I live at home with my parents still, but since turning 25 I’ve seriously been considering moving out. I’m able to save a lot of money living at home, get to go on trips, etc…etc…but it’s hard dealing with my parents sometimes, especially at this age. They don’t really like my boyfriend (not sure why) and he isn’t allowed over our house. One of the things I’ve been thinking about is moving in with my boyfriend. He’s also open to the idea but is 9 months too soon to be living together?
Movin’ On Up
Dear Movin’ On Up
The short answer to your question is hell yes! Now, while I’ll admit there are a handful of people out there who date their boo boo kins for a week or something and wind up being married for 100 years, that is not anywhere near the norm. Usually you get to know your significant other for much longer periods of time and there’s a good reason for that. When you’re first dating someone everyone’s on their best behavior and all the things they do that would otherwise bother you seem really cute and tolerable. And you only tend to see each other in certain situations where a lot of issues wouldn’t even come up. Moving in with each other….wooooo buddy, that’s a whole ‘notha story entirely right there.
Before deciding if moving in together is a good idea, ask yourself these questions. 1) Will you go ape poop if he leaves the toilet seat up, even though you’ve reminded him not to 100 million times? 2) Will a war erupt if he wants to invite his boys over to play Call of Duty while you want to invite your girls over to watch a Grey’s Anatomy marathon? 3) What would happen if, for whatever reason, one of you can’t pay your share of the bills any given month? 4) Are there going to be problems if he doesn’t buy anything to decorate the house with, because he believes in a minimal zen like space while you’re all about pictures of blow fish and sea otters lining the bathroom wall? 5) Are you cool with him stumbling in drunk at 3am…cos sometimes things happen you know…
Moving in together is a big step, and things that don’t bother you now (because you’re unaware of them) may bother you a lot later. That’s why I say move out on your own. You can do whatever you want in your own place, decorate it the way you want, not worry about the toilet seat or anything like that. Have him stay over for extended periods of time to get a sense of what living with him could be like. And maybe down the road pull the trigger on the whole living together thing.
Need relationship advice? Send your questions to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com and you might be featured on the next installment of Ask MISSter Simms.
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