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Dear Summer: Are You A Nag?


Dear Summer 02.10

There’s nothing worse than a nag. Whether it’s a girl OR guy, the sound of a whiny voice repeatedly telling you what to do is like nails on a chalk board. In relationships, nagging is the number one thing I hear people complaining about. The toilet seat is left up, he chews with his mouth open, and he leaves wet towels on the floor. He comes home stumbling drunk and plays video games all day. Blah blah blah. What now? Before you send the “We need to talk” text, ask yourself this: Is it REALLY worth the battle?

Addressing serious situations (CONSISTENTLY coming home stumbling drunk) is one thing. You have the right to voice your concern and opinion. But take Sammi and Ronnie for example. Not an episode of Jersey Shore goes by where she isn’t whining or crying about something petty. “What’s wrong?”  “Why won’t you talk to me?”  “Where are you going?!!!” Sure, they may have trust issues (not that I actually WATCH Jersey Shore… wink wink ), but after agreeing to forgive, why can’t Sammi just FORGET?

The worst thing that can occur during a nag fest is total withdrawal from the nag-ee. As we all know (through no fault of their own, of course), men don’t have much of an attention span. Work, sex, WHATEVER it is, guys have a one track mind, but are also amazing at tuning things out. Besides the inevitable eye rolling, the most you’ll get from nagging is an apathetic “K”. Is that really the answer you’re looking for? Keep this in mind: The more you demand, the more you will ultimately be ignored, causing you to yup! Nag even more.  A vicious cycle indeed.

Agreeing to “terms” early on is both key and curse in a relationship. “Terms” which include quirks, habits, and situations. Everything is calm and cool since you did the right thing and accepted (this IS an “adult” relationship you’re in right?)- until that one day when TERM can become TURMOIL. But like the saying goes, ” You play the hand you’re dealt” and eventually, if you’re an ADULT, you’ll know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em . The nagging just isn’t necessary.

Image Layout: Aeramis

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