During a juicy discussion regarding the up’s, down’s, and general neuroses of the modern day relationship, the topic of “the end” came up. Yes that dreaded “end” that countless groups of women obsess over during breakfast; the UNhappily ever after to every little girl’s Once Upon A Time. One of my girlfriends carefully pointed out a quote that a well respected author once wrote: Begin with the end in mind. Good advice, but in the words of the great Lenny Kravitz, “It Ain’t Over Til It’s OVER“. So what actually constitutes THE END? In my own experience, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are five warning signs that point you toward Splitsville:
- “Not tonight” has become EVERY night. It’s completely normal for sex to lose its sparkle after awhile, but if the very thought of intimacy with your partner grosses you out (you’re using every excuse from PRE to POST menstrual syndrome) it’s time to bail. Sex should never feel like a chore.
- You’re cheating- and unafraid of being caught. This may seem obvious, but oftentimes a cheater will actually want to be discovered, in order to create a valid, no-nonsense reason for the break-up.
- You’re spending more time apart from each other. This could range anywhere from not coming home at night, to lengthy “business” trips, to suddenly taking an interest in church on Sundays to avoid family gatherings. Whatever it is, if you’d rather be anywhere else in the world than with him, it’s HISTORY.
- You’ve stopped caring about your partner’s overall well being. My first live-in love was involved in a car accident that left his leg banged up pretty badly. I remember being more upset about the car than the leg- I ended up moving out a month later.
- He pushes YOU away when it’s time for sex. There’s nothing more humiliating than being shot down in the sheets. Supposedly, men think of sex every 7 seconds of the day, so if you’re being turned down, someone else may be turning HIM on.
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