Dear MISSter Simms,
I just came out to my very close friend. She informed me before she got married that she had wanted to be with girls. Now her husband is trying to push us to sleep together. He claims he doesn’t want to join, but just wants to make his wife happy. I’ve always found her very attractive. Should I sleep with her? Are there ulterior motives behind his actions?
Should I Boink
Does your friend’s husband have ulterior motives? To quote Carl “CJ” Johnson, does the Pope sh*t in the woods? Let’s be real. In general, a guy will do a bunch of things to make his wife and/or significant other happy: buy some diamond earrings, get a big chocolate bunny, watch Oprah with them, eat their horrendous cooking and say it’s totally awesome. However, saying “Yeah honey, go ahead and shaboink someone else” isn’t usually one of those things…unless the guy has something else on his mind. Think about it like this. If you were a guy and wanted to sleep with your friend, do you think her husband would still say yes, I want to make you happy? Probably not since a lot of married people aren’t into passing their wife around like a doobie at Woodstock. But because you’re a girl and your friend’s husband has probably had lifelong dreams of watching two girls go at it he can claim it’s to make his wife happy. The reality is that he is only thinking about making himself happy, and in the back of his mind he might even think he’ll get invited in to make it a threesome.
Now, ask yourself these questions to determine whether or not sleeping with her is a good idea. Would you be cool if the husband wanted to be a participate instead of just a spectator? Is this only going to be a one time thing or develop into a regular shaboinking session with the husband watching in the corner? And, if it did become a regular thing, would your attraction to your friend become more than just a physical one? If you really want to get with your friend, and the husband says cool beans, then go for it. But know that if things get complicated you could wind up losing a friend and/or break up a marriage.
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