Dear MISSter Simms,
I’m a freshman in college about to finish up my first year of school. So far things at school have been great. Learn interesting things during the week, try to get into bars on the weekends…I’m sure you know how that goes. Anyway, what hasn’t been so great is my relationship with a boyfriend I left back home. My school is pretty far from home, so we agreed that an open relationship with some limitations was the best idea. One of those limitations is that we aren’t supposed to sleep with other people. Unfortunately the other day he admitted that, after getting stressed out, he wound up getting in bed with a friend of his. Of course, he says he still loves me and has been begging me to stay with him, but I know I’ve done a pretty good job at fending off the guys that have been trying to get in my pants all school year. Now, I still love him, but I’m not sure if I should stay with him or not. Can things ever be the same after that?
Confused from a Distance
What the dill pickles CFAD? I’d like to spin a tale of a long time ago, when I was a sophomore at New York University. At the time, I too was in a long distance relationship with a girl who lived four hours away back home in DC. One day she called me up out the blue and admitted to sleeping with her ex. I was nice and naive at the time, so I instantly forgave her and went about my business like nothing ever happened. But then, only a couple of months later, she wound up sleeping with someone else. Of course, after that I had to break up with her. It’s like our esteemed former President George W. Bush said. “Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” Yeah, just like that.
Anyway, the whole point of telling that story is because I think that, like my ex-girlfriend, your boyfriend will probably boink another girl down the road while you’re away at school. If his only reason for sleeping with the chick was because he was stressed out, then he’ll probably be sleeping with a whole lot of people because life can be pretty stressful most of the time. And with you away at school for most of the year, it’s not like you can physically be there to comfort him yourself.
And really, even if you stayed with him despite what I’ve said, it couldn’t ever be the same. When you guys are apart you’ll constantly be wondering if he’s sleeping with the girls he says he’s hanging out with. Not exactly the most fun way to spend your time in a relationship with someone.
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