Dear MISSter Simms,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for five years now and I’m at the point where I want to take it to the next level and get married already. I’m turning 23 this year and he’ll be turning 28. Every time I bring up marriage, however, he either gets pissed or stops talking altogether. He won’t even say the word marriage in my presence: his brother got engaged the other day and he wouldn’t even tell me because he knew I’d get upset about it. And he was right, because I did find out when his brother spilled the beans. Anyway, why won’t my boyfriend cut the crap and marry me?
Marry Me, Dangit!
Here’s the simple reason your boyfriend hasn’t asked you to marry him yet: he’s not ready. Now, why he’s not ready is up for debate. It could be for any number of reasons. He may not think five years is that long of a time. Maybe after 10 years he’ll feel like he knows you well enough to want to marry you or not. He could be thinking that 23 and 28 are just too young to get hitched at the moment. My dad was 35 when he got married to my mom, who was in her late twenties at the time. There could be other, deeper reasons too. He might feel like, currently, he can’t provide a decent future for you now because of his job or other factors. Are his parents divorced? Then he might think his marriage will end up the same way. And if his relationships prior to you have had their problems then he might be traumatized a bit. He could even have commitment phobia. If you really want to know, you two are going to have to sit down and you’re going to have to make him talk somehow.
Marriage isn’t exactly something to rush into (might be better of rushing into a gun fight with a pair of butter knives), so don’t drop your boyfriend just yet because he’s afraid of walking down the aisle with you. If you really love him you’ll wait til the both of you are ready to attach the ball and chain tie the knot.
Need relationship advice? Send your questions to ronsimmsjr at gmail dot com and you might be featured on the next installment of Ask MISSter Simms.
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