Nothing is worse than a breakup. Nothing, except maybe breaking up during the holidays. Every song on the radio, commercial on t.v., or some other form of holiday propaganda is just a brutal reminder of what used to be. Or what could’ve been. While everyone is out cupcaking in the cold, you’re left alone in your own winter war zone. But with a new year comes a new YOU, so pick yourself up and dry those tears girlfriend. You are far too fine to be that sad. If you don’t know where to begin, keep a few things in mind:
- Make a promise to yourself you will NOT emo Tweet or post bummed out, subliminal Facebook statuses. Surround yourself with an army of family or friends. Stay busy making your post holiday rounds and accept every party invite you get. Throw on something amazing and GO.
- Don’t be tempted to call or text, even if it’s just a simple “Happy New Year”. Delete the number out of your phone for now. If it’s a reaction you’re trying to get, remember that most people respond to being ignored. Weird but true.
- Play dress up. Perfect your liquid eyeliner application or take two hours straightening your hair. The more focused you are on a daily activity will take your mind off of the situation, it’s a fact. Don’t feel tempted to call in sick and mope around all day either (I used to do this ALL the time)- it’s unhealthy and god forbid you run into what’s-his-name in your bathrobe and house shoes.
- Whatever you do, DON’T SEX THE EX. When you’re lonely, it’s easy to get physical and emotional intimacy mixed up; your heart will break all over again watching him leave. Literally disconnecting is the the best way to sever the ties.
- Get up and give back. Volunteer at an animal shelter or hospice facility. Nothing will heal your heart more than helping someone.
- Take the time to find out what YOU want in a relationship. Set realistic expectations for yourself this year. I’m sorry, but you won’t ever be like the couples you see on TV…because it’s TV. Real life doesn’t come with editing and production.
- Every beginning has an end. It sounds dismal, but it’s true. However, people don’t necessarily have to fade out of your life or become enemies, they might just end up playing different roles and that’s OK, if not BETTER. Time heals ALL wounds.
- Don’t let your current situation set the tone for future relationships. Better yourself this year. Keep your heart open to new experiences. If you fall, get up and keep moving because you never know how much fun you could be missing out on.
- If you and your ex run into each other, don’t lose your cool. Collect yourself and stay calm, even if it means going home and screaming into a pillow or throwing something.
- Make a New Year’s resolution to live in the moment. Realize that no one belongs to you and vice versa. I was especially bad at this at one point, because I hated the feeling of not being in control. I literally woke up one day (very recently) and stopped caring. Not because I didn’t care about HIM, but because I wanted to enjoy the relationship instead of sabotaging it. Will it work out in the end? Who knows, and truthfully, I don’t dwell on it anymore. I’m having a good time RIGHT NOW and that’s all that matters. A person is a living, breathing being with their own set of ideas and own agenda. Accept who they are, flaws and all. Whether or not they mess up is their own karma. Can you deal with it? Make your decision and move on.
For me it’s still a battle, but I’m learning. I’ve lived through all of these things and I’m actually thankful for my revolving door of a love life. It’s allowed me to come to terms with myself and be thankful for the things I do have. I’m not telling you how to play the “game”. I’m teaching you how to WIN it.
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