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Magdalene Ayuk
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“Best friends” aren’t for everyone

Oh the simplicity of childhood friendship!

Oh the simplicity of childhood friendship!

“She is the mother I never had. She is a sister everybody would want. She is the friend that everybody deserves. I don’t know a better person.”

Oprah on BFF Gail King

Needless to say friends are staples in anyone’s life, and those who are without, are sincerely missing out on a good thing. I am however against the term “best friend”, at least as it pertains to my life. Once you label a friend as such, your expectations increase, and you may possibly compare them to your bestfriends in primary school who would trade lunches with you because you were tired of the same ol’ peanut butter and jelly and whom, once they first got their permit, would pick you up and drive you wherever without asking for gas money.

As I got older, I’ve ditched the term “best friend” as it’s caused me more harm than good. As in, I would bend over backward to help someone who was too busy to do the same for me. Now, I do have many good friends whom, if I believed in such a concept, could be called a BFF. However I call them instead “soul sisters”.  A soul sister/brother is someone with whom you have made a deep connection or rather your souls have.  Also, it is someone of whom you have no expectations except that of reciprocal respect.

I talk to one particular friend of mine at least twice a week and for long periods of time. When we were in college with no real responsibilities and before she moved to another province to live with her beau, we spoke on the phone everyday for hours. However, we share similar views concerning the term “best friend”. It’s too comparative for my liking. It means that you relate to them more than your other friends while every one meets your needs in a different way.

Maybe I’m just jaded by the whole concept. While listening to the clip of Oprah tearing up over Gail, I was like “awww, they have something beautiful.” However, I will never use the term best friend again. I am simply too traumatized.

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