I admit it: last week I ran into someone I had slept with, and did not remember him or our previous interactions. As I finally placed him as someone I had once dated, I was shocked I didn’t remember him. But, I wrote it off as a side effect of dating a solid amount. As I later filled in the blanks that we had more than dated, I could not believe that detail could slip my mind. Have I really slept with that many people that I don’t even recognize them?
My initial response is no, it hasn’t been that many people. It’s all subjective. No, I’m not a slut. Or am I? But what is a slut, why does it seem so negative, and why am I so concerned?
I started thinking about a book I read recently, and continue to love: The Last Living Slut: Born in Iran, Bred Backstage, by Roxana Shirazi. In the book, and also as a contributor for The Huffington Post, Roxana addresses our use of the word “slut”, her redefinition of it, and the gender differences behind the word and how we view sexuality. She points out:
When describing a male who frequently engages in sexual activity with a lot of partners, the words often used are stud, player, horndog, and so on-and sometimes male slut. However male slut is a label that men usually wear with pride; it is a term of approval and envy. A male who frequently has sex with a lot of partners is patted on the back, looked up to with admiration because he is merely carrying out a role that is assigned to him as a man. It is seen as a progressive step toward the development of masculinity.
I am not as confident nor bold as Shirazi, who calls herself “the last living ‘slut'” embodying the negative meaning of the word, and the first living ‘slut’ embodying a new, positive, and celebrated meaning of the word.” I’m on board for for positivity and celebrating sexuality, but my mind hasn’t caught up to making myself an example. How about you? Where do you stand on what is “slutty”? Let me know.
Image Layout: Trina
- M.I.S.S. Muses: Be You
- Fashion Meets Film: Girl 6
- Why Do We Call Ourselves Bitches?
- Ask MISSter Simms – How Many Is Too Many?
- She Talked About Sex: Margaret Mead