Grief is not generally something that inspires me. When I think of grief, I think of loss, heartbreak, ending, goodbyes, and mourning. Unfortunately, I have a friend dealing with grief right now. But amazingly, when I was reflecting about all the inspirational things in my life this week, her dealing with her grief stood out.
My friend’s aunt died. After hearing this news, she felt sadness for this loss as well other feelings around their relationship. The news also brought her other relationships, family members, and loved ones to mind, and a mixture of gratefulness that her other loved ones are with her mixed in with the mourning for her aunt. As to be expected, she cried, wanted to have time to herself, wanted comfort, and was confused. When I checked in with my dear friend, emotions would range and be just one of many that day. We agreed that grief is something you have to deal with in time and as it comes to you, and I offered her my condolences while not knowing how else to help.
During one of our check ins, my friend said she read somewhere not to force being cheerful. She shared that it’s a weird journey on its own time table, and that she wanted to deal with her grief as is appropriate to her. I was moved by that. A lot of times we try to rally, show we’re strong, prove we’re keeping things moving. Which is fine, but if it’s not what’s real for us, it’s probably not the best choice. A lot of people want to hear the happy ending, the light at the end of the tunnel, the positivity shining through. And while that may all exist, we can’t feel that at every moment. Sometimes things suck. We lose, we hurt, we have heartbreak, we deal with a mess of emotions. It happens. This may all be balanced out, but there is something to be said about the darker times. There is a bravery to taking on the negative feelings and admitting not all is fine and dandy. And there is clear inspiration in being real and being present to whatever comes, good or bad.
To anyone dealing with grief, my heart goes out to you. Your strength to deal with the situation is a muse in its own right.
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