Not long ago, I was dating a great guy who was dating 2 other gals. At the time, this didn’t phase me as 1) I didn’t know and 2) it wasn’t breaking any agreement we had. The guy soon enough told me and the ultimate reason we were discontinued was he felt a stronger connection with one of the other ladies.
That was no biggie. I mean, the guy is cool and sweet and great as far as I know, but it was no immediate love connection or anything. We had fun, it could have worked if we chose that, but I never felt like I lost my soulmate. And since we ended well, I look back at him and our dating time fondly. However, I wonder a few things:
1) How did the other girl who got dumped feel about her discontinued dating?
2) Even though I didn’t feel wronged by his juggling, how much did it affect our time together?
3) Could I date in his shoes?
To the first question, I will probably never know. I can only hope she was in a similar boat to mine, but if she really liked the guy or things didn’t end things as nicely as the did for me, that would suck. For question 2, looking back it makes sense that our dating progressed slowly. If you’re dating 3 people, work, play in a band, have friends, sleep, etc., you are limited with your time. No doubt things would have taken a different route if even just from scheduling being a bit free. I also wonder what character I was in his mind. Inevitably, there was comparison amongst us, and I wonder which role I was cast in, and if I would think it’s a fair role. But beyond all this, I also wonder about number 3. Could I juggle dating 3 people like he did?
I have nothing against juggling, but I doubt my abilities with it. I’ve juggled a bit by dates with different people only a day apart and the like, but it was at the beginning (and sometimes also the end) of those relationships where I didn’t feel obligated or too connected. Even then I considered canceling a few. I have a hard time just responding to multiple online dating messages sometimes, so keeping track of our place in a relationship, what’s going in the others’ life, scheduling time, etc. seems like a lot. Plus, the potential for stress and drama appears to be higher than the potential payoff to me.
So what- is this preference just me? Is this a male vs. female tolerance or ability? Have you been on either side of the coin? Let me know.
Image Layout: Trina
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