Over the past two weeks we’ve gone over my do’s and don’ts of online dating. This week, I logged onto my dating accounts to do some more field research and jot down my bottom line thoughts on the matter here for you. If nothing else, keep in mind the following:
1. Be you. I’ve said this before. I will say it again. Be you. Whether that means being honest about what you’re looking for, what you like, how you act, whatever, represent the real you and get to be best friends with her in this process.
2. It’s okay to be nervous. You will get nervous. It’s a good thing. If you weren’t nervous what would be at stake? You may be nervous to set up a profile or make a first move. Your nervousness may come when you make plans to meet in person or discover you really like the other person. Whatever it is, at some point, if there is something at stake for you, you will feel nervous. It’s fine and you can still take action while feeling it.
3. Online dating can work for you. This does not need to be a full time job, but you can make it one if that’s what you want. Just like there is a time to go out and a time to stay in during real life, you can put yourself as out there or not online. I travel a whole bunch and am looking for something very specific at this point, so I log on when I want to, respond when I see fit, meet amazing people and have great dates, and make it work. No matter what you’re hesitant about, you can work it out.
4. Nobody is perfect. This doesn’t mean settle and this doesn’t mean you’re flawed. It is a reminder: you are not perfect and nobody else is, either. If you spell something wrong, oh well. If you misinterpret something written (or perhaps mistakenly leave something up to the incorrect imagination), no worries. If he forgot a detail from a few messages back, it’s not a deal-breaker. There are ways to maximize getting your desired effect, but you will learn and people will always surprise you. Don’t stress about it and I promise it will work out.
5. You can make it happen. No matter what you want out of online dating, you can get it. You may have to adjust, go harder, ease off, take time, be thoughtful, whatever. Don’t write dating or relationships off because they’re not readily available or immediately visible. Get out there with the complete and fabulous you and with just that, you’re one step closer to your heart’s desires.
The above points go for life, dating, and online dating. Don’t let anything hold you back, and have a blast making it work the way you want.
Image Layout: Margaret
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