Now that I’ve given you a brief intro to online dating, let’s get into what to avoid.
1. Wait. Based on last week’s part 1, clearly I’m a proponent of you dating online. Don’t wait to try it! Go now; set up a profile. I’ll be the one to wait as you do so. Really, I’ve never heard of anyone dying from setting up a profile, taking a step, and putting self out there. Once you’re out there, sure you may be hesitant to make moves, but don’t wait for the perfect moment. SPOILER ALERT: the perfect moment will not come. A moment will come, there may or may not be perceived signs, and you will be fine. So get it going!
2. Create dumb blurbs. Steer clear of lame screen names, intro lines, or other snippets about you that appear in searches and display. Names like “H0T4U2” or “ZxyQt” or “yummmybooty” are what I’m talking about. Many names are taken, you’re not going to give out personal info in your name, and you can’t always come up with something clever, but the weirdly suggestive names are the worst. So are the headlines like “looking for a daddy to please” or “sexy girl here!!!” Check your profile by viewing how it appears to others and let’s keep it classy, ladies.
3. Be generic. We all would like to describe ourselves as smart, capable, good, cares about people we love, etc. And if you’re doing the online dating, you want to find someone worth your time. So expand on all that! Don’t state the same “Hi, I’m pretty normal but cool and I want someone relatively like me. I work, technically have family, and sometimes go out.”
4. Lie. With the above being said, by no means should you falsely represent yourself on your profile or in any correspondence. Or in pictures (this counts as a visual lie)! Mama taught you this when you were little, and now is a great time to keep it in mind.
5. Get too wordy. I’m not trying to cut you off, but a) long profiles are hard to read and humans will skim by nature, and b) if you have such a rapport going with someone via messages, move it to the phone/actually meeting.
6. Offer one-word responses. Since this is online, there are no visual cues or use of the other senses, so you have to put some effort into keeping an online conversation going. Ask questions and offer something about yourself in messaging. One-word answers, no matter how witty you imagine them, kill the convo.
7. Forget to keep track. Don’t send an intro message to someone twice, ask again a generic question they’ve answered, etc. If it’s online, it’s on your screen and in your inbox, so do a lil’ review if you are having a hard time keeping track. If the problem is you’re not into messaging said person, just stop doing so.
8. Talk about exes. Daters in the 3-D world aren’t into the early talk of the exes, and neither are their avatars.
9. Put all your eggs in one basket. You may not be a player, and I’m not suggesting you become one. But don’t hold your breath after winking at one dude in hopes he returns your undying potential interest. Wink at someone else. Send a few messages. Just keep track of who is who and what is going on in your exchanges (see #7). Stay active and again, don’t wait for it to happen to you.
10. Settle. All that being said, you know you best and you will attract what matches the real you. So you don’t want a smoker? Fine. You really can’t get on board with his political view? Don’t. Superficially just can’t date someone who’s 4 inches shorter than you? I feel you, and that is our prerogative. It may require patience, learning, and growing to find what really matters and works, but by no means should you settle for anybody less than great for you.
Now get out there and do something!
Have any other suggestions or tips? Let us know!
Image Layout: Margaret
- Online Dating Part 3: Closing Thoughts
- M.I.S.S. Techcessories – Let’s Date Helps You Find Love From Your Phone
- Life 2.0 by OHW2007 – Online Dating
- Online Dating Part 1: An Intro on What to Do
- Ask MISSter Simms – Silence Isn’t So Golden