I don’t assert that everyone experiences this, but I for sure do: The 3 Week Itch. About (or exactly) 3 weeks into a “relationship” or mutually into each other type dating situation, I suddenly question the person and relationship at hand and go from giddy thumbs up for it to unsure question marks. This is not to say I always fall out of like with the other person; I just go through an “on the fence” stage while I contemplate either way.
I first noticed this pattern of mine back in high school, and in just about every relationship (that has lasted at least 3 weeks), I can pretty much trace back to the 3 week point where I started doubting what was at hand. With my last boyfriend, I was able to look him in the eye and tell him I was going through it, would come out of my weirdness in a few days, and I just needed time to figure it out and get off the fence. He watched me explain this and with a glimmer in his eye and slight smirk across his face asked which side I was going to choose. I told him I wasn’t sure, apologized for the inconvenience, and he was sweet as ever and we continued on. A few days later I told him I was sticking with us.
With the last guy I was dating, I felt the funk and irritation after the 3 week mark, but exactly at what I would call the 3 week mark in terms of how often we saw each other and such. I gave it time, told girlfriends it’s that time where I get like this, thought it would pass in a couple days, and mentally listed both pros and cons. I soon enough started rallying myself since I saw the good points and thought we should continue dating. However, at the same time, he disappeared. It’s not like I chased after him to save it, I was too busy walking my fence, but his lack of presence 1) didn’t help me lean toward going for it with him and 2) made any decision a moot point.
Honestly, after not hearing from this last guy and closing that relationship in my head, I thought it was because of me and bad vibes I was putting out. Perhaps this 3 week itch had killed the relationship just by me questioning it and being in a funk. Maybe this was a habit I developed as a defense mechanism or excuse or something else to keep me from actually being with someone. There may be truth that I experience this 3 week itch due to my own issues, but I am of the mindset that I didn’t kill this latest relationship by questioning it. If he had called, I’m 97% sure I would have brought up the fact that I was in a funk (if I was still feeling that way) and it would have been resolved with communication, getting over it, and/or some closure. Still, it is odd that I started questioning it and he took the question away.
What do you all think? Do you go through anything similar? Did I perhaps push this last one away when I slipped into a weirdness and starting questioning it? Weigh in and let me know below.
Image Layout: Margaret
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