Home » life
Queen of Bows
Posted by

The 3 Week Itch

The 3 Week Itch

I don’t assert that everyone experiences this, but I for sure do: The 3 Week Itch. About (or exactly) 3 weeks into a “relationship” or mutually into each other type dating situation, I suddenly question the person and relationship at hand and go from giddy thumbs up for it to unsure question marks. This is not to say I always fall out of like with the other person; I just go through an “on the fence” stage while I contemplate either way.

I first noticed this pattern of mine back in high school, and in just about every relationship (that has lasted at least 3 weeks), I can pretty much trace back to the 3 week point where I started doubting what was at hand. With my last boyfriend, I was able to look him in the eye and tell him I was going through it, would come out of my weirdness in a few days, and I just needed time to figure it out and get off the fence. He watched me explain this and with a glimmer in his eye and slight smirk across his face asked which side I was going to choose. I told him I wasn’t sure, apologized for the inconvenience, and he was sweet as ever and we continued on. A few days later I told him I was sticking with us.

With the last guy I was dating, I felt the funk and irritation after the 3 week mark, but exactly at what I would call the 3 week mark in terms of how often we saw each other and such. I gave it time, told girlfriends it’s that time where I get like this, thought it would pass in a couple days, and mentally listed both pros and cons. I soon enough started rallying myself since I saw the good points and thought we should continue dating. However, at the same time, he disappeared. It’s not like I chased after him to save it, I was too busy walking my fence, but his lack of presence 1) didn’t help me lean toward going for it with him and 2) made any decision a moot point.

Honestly, after not hearing from this last guy and closing that relationship in my head, I thought it was because of me and bad vibes I was putting out. Perhaps this 3 week itch had killed the relationship just by me questioning it and being in a funk. Maybe this was a habit I developed as a defense mechanism or excuse or something else to keep me from actually being with someone. There may be truth that I experience this 3 week itch due to my own issues, but I am of the mindset that I didn’t kill this latest relationship by questioning it. If he had called, I’m 97% sure I would have brought up the fact that I was in a funk (if I was still feeling that way) and it would have been resolved with communication, getting over it, and/or some closure. Still, it is odd that I started questioning it and he took the question away.

What do you all think? Do you go through anything similar? Did I perhaps push this last one away when I slipped into a weirdness and starting questioning it? Weigh in and let me know below.

Image Layout: Margaret

Similar Posts:

7 Responses to “The 3 Week Itch”

  1. O M G says:

    I’m only 18 and I seriously have experienced the 3 week itch (with a couple of guys). However my experiences did not end as well as you. In all situations I ended up losing ALL CONTACT with the guys . For no reason !! It always sucks and leaves me questioning whyyyy ??? It’s kind of cool knowing it’s not just me =/

  2. It’s good to hear it’s not just me, too! I feel you- I’ve totally lost all contact with this last dude.

  3. Sofie says:

    I can relate to what you’re talking about. The beginning thrill is a rush, definitely, but as time progresses I too get that “itch”. It’s taken me an average of 2 dates to get in bed with these women, and I’ll continue to date them and sleep with them, then it just falls flat for me… after a few weeks. It could be that you’re questioning it because you want to be sure that you’re not wasting your time, and most of the time, we come to realize that we want/could do better. Questions don’t hurt, they only help make us more sure. When you find someone who doesn’t give you that itch after 3 weeks, then be sure to hold on to it. (:

  4. Thanks, Sofie. No matter if there are too many, too few, or just enough questions, I think you put it best that the bottom line is: “When you find someone who doesn’t give you that itch after 3 weeks, then be sure to hold on to it.”

  5. Robyn says:

    I think it is like you said a defense mechanism, believe me it could be three days three weeks or three months that ol familiar feeling surfaces and you start to question everything, i know now it is my own insecurities and i am still working thru them. I have trust issues and that always puts a damper on a new relationship.However i am in a great realationship with a Man that is very aware of my issues and is patient and kind and is understanding enough to except me for me..so if it itches scratch it, and if it doesn’t bleed then keep it. so this way you don’t end up saying”WHAT IF”

  6. Gabriella GDK says:

    I don’t think you are alone. I remember my husband saying there’s a 3 week itch and a 3 month itch. It’s normal to reflect and evaluate whether you’re making the right decision.

  7. samalamadingdong says:

    i always had the 3 week itch (not referring to any type of rashes) but it was more like the 3 week i’m getting the fuck outta here itch. anyway, i haven’t been itchy at all yet with my ging (both referring to my parts & my heart/mind) & we live together now.


Facebook Twitter Flickr Flickr