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Oops, You’re Naked!


M.I.S.S Oops, You're Naked!

A girlfriend and I were recently sharing drinks and bad dating stories. It started off promising enough: my friend, we’ll call her Anna, met an attractive and interesting guy as she was working on site one day. Not being one to generally ask for a guy’s number or call him, Anna found herself intrigued and wanting to see him, so she asked for his number and called him later. They made plans to go out and Anna was impressed by the guy’s efforts as he had taken a mini road trip but hurried back in time to see her. Their date was fine and while she still found him attractive, Anna didn’t anticipate much of a future nor was she sure of seeing him after that night. The guy was visiting the U.S. from abroad, but as they were having a good time and the moment approached, she decided she would kiss her foreign interest. They ended up outdoors overlooking the beach toward the end of their date, and the moment came where things slow down and both lean in to share the first kiss. Anna closed her eyes and waited.

Not feeling his lips meeting hers, she opened her eyes. When she did, Anna was surprised. Not only was he not preparing to kiss her as she thought, but in those seconds Anna had her eyes closed, this guy had taken off all of his clothes. That’s right, he managed to get out of shirt, pants, and underwear and stood before her completely naked. Anna wasn’t sure how to react, but there was no kiss, no touching, and no seeing each other after the exposure of his entire package.

Unfortunately, I could respond with a similar story. New friends and I were drinking and having a good time when we decided to go swimming. I ran into my room for my bathing suit. One of the guys followed me into my room, which I found kind of weird, but also figured he was checking on me due to my inebriated state. He was talking nonsense and I started to get the impression he was making moves, but I laughed it off and told him that wasn’t going to happen. I was crouched down rifling through clothes to find my bathing suit, and as I found it and began to stand up, I found myself face to face with his man-parts. Yes, after a polite refusal to making out and with the door open, he whipped out his junk and it was all sorts of out in the open. I was baffled. I responded with “No! Put that away!” and promptly walked away.

I suspect if a girl were to strip down naked in front of a man, he would rejoice and not find this to be a problem. But for me, this is not okay. If you’re my boo and we’re in an intimate setting, sure, surprise me. But if we are in a public setting and not on a physical contact level, there is no need for you to lose your clothes. I want to go on the record for myself and any other unwitting viewers of male flashing that this behavior is not welcome and is not to be encouraged.

Ladies, has this ever happened to you? I sure hope not, but seeing as how Anna and I were in very similar situations with different guys and places, I feel we may not be the only ones who have experienced this. If you have a similar story, or better yet, solution, please let me know.

Image Layout: Margaret

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3 Responses to “Oops, You’re Naked!”

  1. OH MY! YES! WHILE EATING! This guy I met at a bar asked me if I wanted to go eat with him after, I said sure and made sure that my gf and her man came to eat with us too.

    So we ordered food and coffe and all of a sudden he says “hey, look here”. So I look to my left, at his face. And he looks down and there’s captain willy-wang hanging out (pun intended). I was disgusted, but thought it was funny.

    Needless to say, I asked for my food in a to-go box and was happy I didn’t give him my number. No way do I need anymore surprises like that.

  2. Oh, Jennifer, that I feel is even worse! Over food! Well, now I know my friend and I aren’t the only ones, although I wish you didn’t have to see his captain and guys would stop it already.

  3. JanaNye says:

    I’m at my desk trying to giggle too loudly at this post because I’m working. I have a guy friend who does this! He has done it to me and a few of my other female friends. We discovered it while also having drinks. Sometimes he dances like party boy (perhaps to get us in the mood?? not sure) We had a good laugh at how frikken fast he can strip down too. Seriously in like four seconds…dude is incredible.

    As far a solution.. if its an insolated incident that was generally ruled by alcohol you may be able to break him of it. But the guy I’m dealing with has a chronic problem and he will more than likely torment women forever.

    *sigh*

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