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Dating in Icky Boy Habitats

Dating In Icky Boy Habitats

As if dating wasn’t hard enough, I have to take into account the dreaded discovery of living circumstances. I once had a boyfriend who I couldn’t wait to see, but would prefer to see him outdoors than at his place. It was a total bachelor pad, with mismatched couches meant for SportsCenter viewing and Xbox playing, beer cans and pizza boxes overflowing, and unmade beds. However, it wasn’t the décor, roommate, or even the clump of trash bags piled in the kitchen that was a turn-off.  It was the never-been-cleaned bathroom, brown tiles that were once white, clearly-never-washed sheets, and fear of cockroaches that almost made me call the relationship off.

I can deal with a home that is not super tidy (mine isn’t) and lack of interior decoration, but I cannot understand why anyone would want to put themselves into a gross environment. Sure, I’ll let another trash bag stack next to the current one before I take them out, but 1) the stench is not overpowering my apartment and 2) there are no creepy critters attacking my home because of it. I mean, if you are clearly standing in a brown layer of filth when taking a shower, how do you feel clean? Sometimes I start to get a ring in my tub, but I then clean it. It does not get the chance to change the entire texture and color of my bathroom. And especially for dudes, since you are standing and looking where you pee, how do you miss the blatant discoloration of the bowl?!?!

I would like to write this endured habitat off to an isolated circumstance specific to the males living there, but I’ve found that was not the only apartment I was not looking forward to stepping into. A recent guy even mentioned “maybe I should sweep or something” and that the place was “in this good condition because of the other guy living here.” My silent responses were “Ya think?!? That’s the minimum you should do,” and “That is not promising,” respectively.

What’s the deal with this? I have untidy female friends, but I’m generally not afraid to use their bathroom or anything. Is there a male gene that causes ignorance of cleaning and the color brown? Am I the only one finding this a problem? Ladies and gentleman, clean and unclean, please let me know.

Image Layout: Margaret

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2 Responses to “Dating in Icky Boy Habitats”

  1. bellerophon says:

    I feel for you Margaret. Nevertheless, on behalf of the other “tidy” males such as myself out there, we’re not a dying breed:-) I would figure that as a female you would’ve used your charming, sassy, feminine instinct to get him to clean his apart ( I once new a girl who told her boyfriend he’d only sleep with him in his apart if it was clean). And trust me, a guy will want to bring you back to his place, mostly for that, sex. The latter is debatable however. Having said this, if he didn’t care how you felt about his place then well, you weren’t worth cleaning up his place to reach your standards I’m sorry to say. Either that, or you really did not make it clear to him how much of a turn off it was. Just my take.

  2. Thanks for your take, bellerophon!

    For the truly horrendous apt, the guy did do a deep cleaning before I came back and made sure to clean anytime he knew I’d be over. I just think it’s frightening/funny that I fear new dudes’ places because of what I’ve witnessed, and it doesn’t seem to improve with age.


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