Queen of Bows
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Walk of Shame

Walk of Shame

Here’s the scene:

You’ve just spent the night outside of your own home, away from your bed, bathroom, closet, products, and beyond. Doesn’t matter if it was with your longtime boo or your flavor of the night. Bottom line, you need to pull yourself together and introduce yourself to civilization in last night’s (likely daytime inappropriate) clothes and with limited tools at your disposal.

It happens to the best of us, the “walk of shame.” I’ve found them to feel less shameful in cities like Las Vegas where doormen don’t bat an eyelash and will even hail you a cab. The story is different for those of us living in places like New York City where the car you get into is likely not your own and walking city blocks takes longer in heels. Even if you can slink into your vehicle and stop at a drive-thru coffee spot, we all get caught off guard sometimes and need to make an appearance the morning after. I’m not concerned whether you call him or remember his name or really “just fell asleep.” If you are called in to work earlier than expected, oversleep, are caught by surprise, or don’t lug a toolkit with you to the bar, we could all use some tips on how transform a freakum dress/sexy date night sleepover into morning coffee and work.

Let’s start with the basics. . . girl, you need to get clean.
If you need to be somewhere other than your own home, get yourself clean. Not only is it the sanitary way to go, you’ll likely smell and look better. Plus, it’s a mood changer. If you are dirty, you will feel dirty. You will be preoccupied wondering if the gal next to you can sniff out last night on you. Get in that shower, wipe off, lather, rinse, do what you can.

I understand you may not have your normal products at your disposal, so remember, shampoo is fine to use as face wash in a pinch. If you are trying to salvage last night’s makeup, wipe around remaining eyeliner or color (raccoon eyes are not cute). If there is no toothbrush at your disposal, find some mouthwash or do a finger brush with toothpaste and rinse out. Return to that shampoo as body wash or to rinse out panties and any other clothing that needs it. Trust me, a quick run under the hairdryer or using a towel to absorb the moisture will make anything dry enough to wear (your body heat will take care of the rest).

Next, pull together your look.
If you happen to have some makeup on you, good for you. Any sort of foundation or powder will give you a good base. Eyeliner and mascara can be applied to quickly perk up your face. Blush can both cover and add color when used on the face and eyelids. Don’t have your makeup bag? You will likely have your lipgloss, which can double as blush. Or maybe your sleepover buddy has Vasoline or some sort of lip balm you can dip into.

As for clothing, you just may have to wear exactly what you arrived in the previous night, depending on the outfit. However, accessories can be edited to make a nighttime look more appropriate for day. Reposition a belt, make a scarf into one, reposition a necklace, edit out tights, etc. If you’re seriously in your ball gown and can’t or don’t want to make that work, raid his wardrobe. We all know over-sized collared shirts can be made into dresses, and a large enough tee can be made into a tunic. Or, add in a white beater or tee as another layer to make a night look more casual. Get creative!

For your hair, sometimes the messy look works, especially if you have short or curly hair, or cannot find a comb and have no choice. For those with bangs, side sweep them if they’re not laying correctly. If you have a scarf available, you can use this as a headband or do the covered look. If your best option is to pull it back, bra straps can be removed to be used as a headband or hairtie. In extreme cases you can break a bra strap to use it, or rinse out a sock or thong and tie a bow. Nobody will know.

Remember, you may not have your normal look available to you, but keep calm and carry on. This may be the time to try the fresh face au naturale look you were going for. Wear it with confidence.

Lastly, and most importantly, work it.
It’s a bit cliché to say, but it’s true! The way you wear it has more to say than what’s on you does. Feet hurting from dancing in those heels? Stand tall and walk slowly with purpose. Self-conscious due to lack of makeup? Tap into your inner beauty and smile. Not feeling that dress for 8 am? Stop tugging at it and wear it proudly! Girl, you got to hook up. And, you have someplace to be. That alone shows you have shine, so let it come through.

Sure, we don’t easily come off as our best self when out of our comfort zone. But that doesn’t mean we can’t. You’re at work to do work, people meet with you for your input and ideas, and those depending on you want you to show up, not some preoccupied body. Your clothes, makeup, products, and last nights don’t make you. You get to say who you are in each moment. Don’t get caught up in lack of full-length mirrors, hair brushes, or extra clothes. Breathe, do what you can, and rock your day.

Image Layouts: Margaret

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One Response to “Walk of Shame”

  1. artiffact artiffact says:

    I’d love to see those sock or thong bows…LOL! Hope it never gets that extreme for someone!


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