I live near the midwestern part of the United States of America. To be a bit more specific, I reside in the a little city called Pittsburgh, which aside from having a football team that doesn’t suck (Ok, sometimes doesn’t suck), and being the birth place of “the big daddy of pop art” Andy Warhol, it’s not the go to destination for fashionistas. Here you’re more likely to be gawked at disapprovingly for stepping foot out of line and going against norm if you don’t have a two car garage, husband, 1.5 kids by the time you’re 25, and name LL Bean and J Crew among your favorite places to shop. Needless to say fashionably independent spirits are a rarity, that one in a million gem you don’t find very often, and although this normalcy and blandness is a huge drag on my brain cells and wardrobe, there are just some things I don’t expect to see in my city.
This past weekend while conversing with a few fashionably conscious friends over a bottle of Riesling in a little bar on the southern end of Pittsburgh, I saw a woman with no pants on. Yes, you read that correct. She didn’t have pants on. Before you’re mind goes into the dirty gutter or you question whether or not she was in her right mind, let me assure you that she wasn’t on crack and she wasn’t a prostitute. “Well Dee, how do you know this?” Because I asked her. Anytime I see someone with even a ounce of individuality, there’s something inside my soul that screams “YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS PERSON”. That little voice inside my heart (the one that loves Hedi Slimane and cried when Alexander McQueen died) wanted to know this woman, not because she was pants less (if I was a man that would be a given), but more so because she was, for lack of a better word…FABULOUS! Her hair was the perfect shade of black and cut to perfection a la La Roux, while the slate grey leotard she wore donned striking armor on the shoulders and dipped very low in the back. She finished off her look with my favorite thing in the world: perfect Burberry Prorsum Fall 2009 lace up booties (Oh you know the ones Amber Rose wears almost with everything, and I’ve been dreaming of since last year).
This girl not only screamed look at me – and not just because she didn’t have pants on – but because it was so obvious she knew what she was doing. It was one of those rare moments I only get to feel in certain cities, normally when I’m in New York and the one time I visited London, where you see normal people walking down the street living their everyday lives, but happen look like they just dropped out of my latest issue of Vogue. But although designers, fashion celebrities, pop stars, and other subsequent magazines are so obviously put on this earth to tell the little people what the wear, some trends are just a bit ridiculous. Pantslessness is one of them. Let’s be honest with ourselves: We can’t ALL be pantsless. How in the heck would that look? I’m having a tough time determining whether every trend we see in magazines, on red carpets, and on the internet are actually for everyone. Spring 2010 showed us a HUGE lack of leg coverage, and Fall 2010’s version of “office appropriate shorts” didn’t help the situation. So what’s a girl to do? When you’ve got Ciara with no pants on wearing Givenchy, and the Queen of Cool Carine Roitfeld completely doing away with the absurd idea of bottoms, not to mention Lady Gaga (totally goes without saying), how in the heck am I suppose to believe I can walk around free and fancy with NO PANTS.
So to end this rant so I can catch up on Gossip Girl, are you loving the pantsless epidemic running rampant?
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