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Valerie
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Little M.I.S.S. Frustrated: Taking Advantage


"Don't Take Advantage Of Me!"

"Don't Take Advantage Of Me!"

I’ve always heard the saying that “nice people are happy people.” In terms of my life, I’d have to say that this is pretty much true. I’ve had some tough times especially here lately with the passing of my father, but for the most part I’m a genuinely happy person. I’ll admit that sometimes I can be “nice to a fault”, but it’s always easier to catch more bees with honey than it is with vinegar, right? (or some Bulls*** like that?) My point is: I like… (dare I say it) being nice! I like making people happy! I like to see people smile and I love to make people laugh! However, what I don’t like is when people take advantage of my “niceness” or mistake it for weakness. If I let things slide every now and again, it doesn’t mean that I’m stupid, have no clue as to what’s going on, or will necessarily let it happen it again. On the contrary, I, along with most people who are being taking advantage of, know when or if it’s happening. In minor cases, it’s just a matter of choosing my battles. In severe cases, it’s only a matter of time. Everyone has a breaking point and I feel mine quickly approaching with some of the people in my life.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not particularly placing all the blame on others. I know that we ultimately set the tone for the relationships in our lives and decide how we allow others to treat us. However, knowingly taking advantage of someone with good intentions is not cool at all. Being taken advantage of sucks! The hurt turns into anger which may soon lead to bitterness. Who wants to be the bitter bitch? It’s certainly not me! It has also caused me to doubt myself and question things that I already know to be true. For instance, my intelligence level and not to mention my street smarts have been called into question lately. Before, I’ve always been pretty confident that I’m not lacking too much in those areas. Now, I wouldn’t put money on it. Being taken advantage of so many times has made me feel inadequate. It’s all one big mind game that has me frustrated beyond control! The questions are never ending, but one pops into my mind the most. I want to know how do I still hold on to my niceness (and ultimately stay true to myself) without getting all “Kelly Cutrone” on these bitches?

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6 Responses to “Little M.I.S.S. Frustrated: Taking Advantage”

  1. First, I FEEL YOU. I’m the same way.
    Next, I don’t know if there is just one answer, you have to feel it out for you and how you feel comfortable. For me, I ask myself what choice at hand would be “me.” We all have different sides, I just think it’s important to be able to feel good about your decision in the end.
    I’ve recently chosen to cut people out or limit time and energy being spent on draining people, and it hasn’t necessarily been easy, but each time I question it, I remember that I’m not a doormat, so being one wouldn’t be true to me.

  2. Des the Best says:

    Hey, I feel the same way from time to time, and yes sometimes you’re gonna need to “Cutrone” it out on them hoes!!!! You can be true to yourself, but make sure you let the “Kool-Kidz” know that you are in the land of the livin’! I think you will agree that Rakim said it best, “I Ain’t No Joke”

  3. Dee Dee says:

    I’ve learned that I’m entirely too nice for my own good. Then I got sick of being a part time door mat and gave that good ol middle finger to a lot of people.

  4. Valerie Valerie says:

    Thanks Queen of Bows and Dee! You both are absolutely right! There isn’t just one answer. In the end, I need to stay true to all the different sides of myself and do some cut and paste in my life.

    Des the Best, you’re right too! There’s definitely something to the “Cutrone” way of doing things. I don’t necessarily agree with all her methods, but she is very successful. You have to respect that! I love that you quoted Rakim!

  5. Randi Hernandez Randi Hernandez says:

    My dad said it best when he told me to put people on “levels”. Don’t cut people out of your life, but when they stop meeting your expectations or start regularly disappointing you, take note. Come to terms with the fact that they may not be able to give you what you need at that particular time. If you address the issue and it does not improve, take a step back. Value them for what they CAN provide to you, and take your BFF-ness elsewhere. Don’t be bitter about “dropping them a level”; your relationship may improve again with time. But also don’t cut ties….(unless they are REALLY evil), because usually you just end up missing said friend and may feel it is too much work to reconnect if you declared the friendship over.

    I don’t even know if this is what is happening with you, but in terms of relationships, this is the best advice anyone has ever given me – and it is most suprising because it came from a man, my father.

  6. misscrass says:

    wow!i never knew how to put it words how I felt about myself, and you have to a T. I’m the same way and you don’t have to feel lonely on this boat. I’ve realized that I’ve accepted that I am way too nice for my own good and in ways the bitterness that came out of me being taken advantage of only helped understand and read people’s actions. I am not an outspoken person and I believe this is my weakness but I learned that I have to chose my battles because sometimes it’s not worth the energy to be angry or bitter. That anger in turn can turn you into something really ugly. Someone you won’t recognize…it happened to me and I wasn’t a happy person. I was betrayed and hurt by people I was very close to but in time they got their karma, 10 x’s worse than what they ever did to me. So our experiences, they are always in our favor- to teach, to help us understand and accept people for who they are and keep us moving forward in our day to day struggles. It’s life…my motto:life without struggle isn’t LIVING life at all.

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