I was sitting at my computer the other night writing a piece and plotting the words for the one to come right after. I was in the heat of thought and typing everything I could think of. Luckily, I stopped. I thought about what I was writing, what I was hoping to say, and why I was writing it in the first place. I looked over what had come out. Turns out, it was all driven by retaliation and defending myself. And while I knew I wanted to express something, my words at that moment were better for my journal and my best friend, not for attempting to create some awesome piece.
When I reread my words, frankly, they weren’t good. I needed an outlet, but releasing my words of agendas and “take this” was not going to land with anyone. Great things can come from heat of the moment reactions and pourings out of feelings. This was not an example of those things.
My piece as it stood wasn’t true to me. It was impulses not capturing what I really wanted to say. So I thought about what was true to me. What is written in stone for me? What am I committed to?
For me, it’s love: love for myself, love for others, and seeing love in people. If I’m cooking something up, it needs to come from a place of love or it is going to be discombobulated and awkward. Trust me. I’ve had other words and ideas I’ve committed to for certain relationships, projects, stages in my life, or moments that I just need to get through. I’ve chosen a word that represents what I want to do and I hold onto it to follow through. Some days it’s “peace” and my concentration is to be in peaceful moments in the face of it all. Other days it’s “patience” and keeping that as my focus. Some times it’s an idea about someone, something to celebrate in others, or a series of words to keep me going when I’m ready to quit.
I went back over what I was writing and changed it. What resulted was better, more coherent, and something I could stand behind. My piece was coming from a different place that allowed me to weed out what wasn’t needed and rearrange the words to be clear. Once I was clear on what I am committed to and what I really wanted to say, everything else flowed from there.
What are you committed to?
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