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Randi Hernandez
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Little M.I.S.S. Frustrated: Jealousy

She's jealous that Little Miss Chatterbox got a book deal.

She's jealous that Little Miss Chatterbox got a book deal.

It is my firm belief that there will always be want in the world. Regardless of how much one can acquire, he or she will always want something MORE. It’s just a fact of life. Often with this deep yearning, one can become painfully aware of the things that she does not have, and might notice the people who DO have said things. This week, I will admit – I am frustrated with myself – because I am too jealous of the successes of those around me.

I am not envious of things, for the most part. Yeah, I’ve always wanted a Chanel bag, and when I see a girl with one, I automatically assume her daddy bought it for her (rationalization). That’s the petty jealousy though. Right now, I’m jealous of the ladies who have solid careers on which they have been working since college. I’m jealous of those who worked towards a particular career path, and are living the dream, working their way towards a position they have always dreamed about. Kinda like that girl in the Chase commercial who gets her first job in the big bad city, and then looks at her bank account balance online after her first paycheck. The girl who is confident about what she wants to be when she grows up. Even after a master’s degree, I have had somewhat of a “renaissance communicator’s” resume, meaning, each new job I have had has been markedly different than the one I had prior to that role. And my undergraduate degree was in Biology. That factoid alone has always made job interviews super-fun and awkward. The dreaded “What made you change fields?” question that inevitably comes every time.

I am working through this jealousy and trying to be happy with what I am learning, rather than trying to focus on scoring a job with the most impressive title. I am ashamed and mad at myself because of my envy. This is mostly due to the fact that more often than not, I feel envious of the good fortune of my friends – when I should just be happy about their successes.

Then something like the tragedy in Haiti occurs – and I am reminded how silly and unimportant these thoughts are in the whole scheme of things.

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6 Responses to “Little M.I.S.S. Frustrated: Jealousy”

  1. Donations will be made today on my behalf.I think I have cried 3times when reading about this ):

    Life is about the path you take to get there, not about who got there the quickest. Happy to hear you are working through it (: you’ve got your friends and us @ M.I.S.S. to lean on (: xo

  2. Amen to that sister!!! I agree and am right there with you.

    Even though I am working towards my dreams now, I still have that voice inside that saying ‘look at everyone else who is already successful at your age; look how hard they worked’. you are wonderful and in this life everything works out for a reason. keep working hard and it will all pay off :)

  3. Gee Gee says:

    This made me tear up and I can’t wait to give you a big hug!

    Jealousy is the green eyed MONSTER (emphasis on the monster) that can never be quelled. Even when you are “successful”, there is always someone out there better than you. Just this morning, I found myself feeling down when reading about the accomplishments of others in my chosen field, feeling as if my own personal contributions were next to nill. Once I calmed the heck down though, I realized that when I thought about it, even though my title wasn’t as “impressive”, I impressed MYSELF with what I’ve learned both professionally and personally. And that comforted me a lot.

    There will always be someone better in some area of life than you (hello to all the ladies with a man right now, my sleeping-alone-ass is talking about you!), but you have to quell those fears by challenging yourself and yourself alone in healthy way.

    ALSO, hugs from me help :) xoxo boo boo!

  4. Joy says:

    =) I really appreciate your posts! It’s a strange thing how a person can be down on themselves at times and completely miss how they touch people’s lives and make a difference everyday. Today, you made a difference in my life and probably everyone else who read your honest and touching words. I think it shows how amazingly strong you are for being so truthful about something we all feel. Not everyone can admit it but I bet everything that we all feel it at times.

    My mother always really tried to get it into my head to compete with myself, to always do better than myself and that way I’ll stay on my own path. It’s hard though sometimes. I get that.

    Thank you again.
    Sending you lots of love!
    Joy (your fan) <3

  5. MC says:

    Jealously is a sin. Hopefully you can overcome it :-)

  6. J says:

    What Gee said!
    I’m miles away in western Canada, but this definitely rings true with me. I’m a few years away from my bachelor’s and while I love school and can’t see myself doing anything else at 20, I’ve noticed my jealousy towards my friends who aren’t in school. Weird, huh? I mean, they all go out and enjoy the night life while somehow making tons of money. I guess I feel like I’m missing out, and wonder if I’ll ever get to have fun once I start my career.

    But of course, knowledge and education always weigh more than going out and making money. We just have to find the “right,” yet fun career :)


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