It is my firm belief that there will always be want in the world. Regardless of how much one can acquire, he or she will always want something MORE. It’s just a fact of life. Often with this deep yearning, one can become painfully aware of the things that she does not have, and might notice the people who DO have said things. This week, I will admit – I am frustrated with myself – because I am too jealous of the successes of those around me.
I am not envious of things, for the most part. Yeah, I’ve always wanted a Chanel bag, and when I see a girl with one, I automatically assume her daddy bought it for her (rationalization). That’s the petty jealousy though. Right now, I’m jealous of the ladies who have solid careers on which they have been working since college. I’m jealous of those who worked towards a particular career path, and are living the dream, working their way towards a position they have always dreamed about. Kinda like that girl in the Chase commercial who gets her first job in the big bad city, and then looks at her bank account balance online after her first paycheck. The girl who is confident about what she wants to be when she grows up. Even after a master’s degree, I have had somewhat of a “renaissance communicator’s” resume, meaning, each new job I have had has been markedly different than the one I had prior to that role. And my undergraduate degree was in Biology. That factoid alone has always made job interviews super-fun and awkward. The dreaded “What made you change fields?” question that inevitably comes every time.
I am working through this jealousy and trying to be happy with what I am learning, rather than trying to focus on scoring a job with the most impressive title. I am ashamed and mad at myself because of my envy. This is mostly due to the fact that more often than not, I feel envious of the good fortune of my friends – when I should just be happy about their successes.
Then something like the tragedy in Haiti occurs – and I am reminded how silly and unimportant these thoughts are in the whole scheme of things.
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