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Always A Lady: Stand Up For Yourself

Image of Tina Turner by Michael Wylie

If you can read, or watch television, you’ve probably heard about Chris Brown and Rihanna’s rocky relationship. A few weeks back, news broke that Chris Brown had allegedly beaten Rihanna. Rumors circulated, photos were leaked and police reports surfaced. The news was shocking, but for me, what was most shocking was that Rihanna took him back. Now, only the two of them know what really happened that night, but for the purpose of this post, let’s assume that Chris Brown really did assault Rihanna. If so, why, why, why would she go back to him?

Domestic violence is an issue that concerns all women – there are no race, class or religious exceptions – it happens across the board. Sometimes, when marriage and children are involved, the situation gets really difficult. Often times, women and children end up homeless or in shelters because they have no other way of surviving because they are dependent on the very person who is tormenting them. Even worse, most women who are murdered in this country are killed at the hands of their husband or boyfriend. If you are affected by domestic violence, you need to get yourself out of the situation, especially before marriage and children are involved.

Knowing whether someone will inflict harm upon you is not something that you’ll know from the get go, but there are definitely hints to look out for such as: past history (ie, they were a victim of domestic violence as a child), past relationships and anger issues. If at any point you are in a relationship where you feel threatened or are assaulted, WALK AWAY and don’t ever look back. You will not change him. If he did it once, he will do it again and again. And, most importantly, it’s not your fault. Emotional issues may come up but you can always communicate about them without violence. If you can’t then you’re not with the right person.

Many girls looked up to Rihanna as a style icon and inspiration. Now, all I can say is please don’t follow her lead. She’s setting a very bad and dangerous example. You need to respect yourself enough to know how you should be treated – and physical violence is definitely not in the mix. You may or may not be able to physically counteract an assault, but you can definitely walk away and decide to never put up with that again. The sooner you walk, the easier it will be to get out of an extremely difficult and uncomfortable situation. Stand up for yourself, respect yourself, and know how you deserve to be treated.

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3 Responses to “Always A Lady: Stand Up For Yourself”

  1. A$TNMNQ says:

    I’ve been thinking about this and def think that it presents the wrong idea and image for young women and girls. 8/

  2. Dee Dee says:

    personally i think that both of them should stay away from one another. chris, because if a woman can make you get angry enough to beat her up, shes not the woman for you. rihanna because once that line is crossed it only gets worse…

  3. Sistargirl leilanie says:

    thank you for posting this! too many blogs online just going with the rumor aspect of this all. it bothers me that this is only a big deal because they’re famous but a lot of us are so quick to ignore this when it’s our next door neighbor who goes through this everyday and has no outlet for help or any camera faced at her situation. it also bothers me when i heard that rihanna accepted a ring from chris brown while in miami. it’s definitely a bad look, a stamp of approval that forgiveness can be bought. i pray for them both, and those going through domestic violence unnoticed.


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